dad has gone

my father passed away last February. he was in hospital for two weeks before his death, and I was with him at this time. at first it didn't hit me . I kept busy and started doing up the house that he built for mum and me. mum passed away 10yrs ago. then in September, the grief hit me like a truck. I hadn't cried since my dad passed, and I didn't then, I only cried a month or so later when a chap said what a good loving son I was. I didn't cope very well, and my partner wasn't very supportive... Well, not supportive enough I think. we split up over xmas, and I spent that day with palls, as she didn't want to be with me as I was anxious. boxing day was the worst as I had no support and it was my mums birthday. I miss my dad terribly, I loved him dearly, he was a wonderful and kind man. folks say that I am like him. I hope so. miss you mum and dad, I don't want to ever forget you both, and I wont, I just want this sadness to end.

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Mar 30, 2014
thank you
by: Anonymous

thank you so much for you r very kind comments. I cannot believe that strangers would be so kind as to take time to write and to encourage me..much appreciated. I hope that you too feel better soon as you work though your grief. Its a horrible club that we belong to, and a club that most at sometime will join. thank you again for your kindness. G

Mar 04, 2014
I know exactly how you feel ....
by: Anonymous

Sorry to hear about your mum
and dad:( I too lost my father last September and whilst we knew it was coming, he had prostate cancer, it was still a shock. Just like you, his death is only just hitting me 6 months down the line. But it's true what they say, it helps to cry. Don't hold back, just let it out, trust me, it makes you feel worse to kept it all inside.

I'm living in the house that I renovated to suit my fathers needs and everything reminds me of him, this also is not a bad thing like some people will tell you, you have to connect like your counsellor told you. Talk about him often and encourage others to aswell, some people are shy about death. Light a candle, lighting a white candle can lead to spiritual enlightenment. It signifies truth, emotional healing, protection, innocence, clarity, and unity.

Your mum and dad will always be with you regardless, I know my dad is:) xxx

Jan 10, 2014
thank you
by: Anonymous

Thank you so much for your kind comments and advice. im really very touched. my ex girlfriend is actually living in my dads house, and my grief councillor who I met for the first time today, says that I really must ask her to move out, so that I can re-connect with my parents, and move on. hopefully she will agree easily. thanks again GG

Jan 09, 2014
Dad has gone
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of Mum and Dad. My mother died 10yrs. ago and I thought I had grieved enough for her until I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 20 months ago then the two grief's came together. It is not uncommon to get stuck in grief and not able to move forward. It is good to have work as a healthy diversion but not to the point where a person becomes so busy they don't grieve. This way you will be storing up your grief which will go underground and then one day years later start pressing for resolution and it will feel heavier and more painful. Crying is the biggest part of grief so don't postpone crying. Especially for a Male. Part of the fallacy of old wives tales where males were told they had to be strong and not cry. This is a misconception. God created Male and female with emotions. Jesus WEPT. Crying is healthy and won't last forever. Enjoy the home your father built and find a way to heal from your loss. One way is to treat yourself with care and do many good things for yourself each day and every day and you will be building yourself up. Next thing to do is either see a grief counsellor for a few sessions to help yourself move forward. Make new friends and know that grief doesn't last forever. Give yourself permission to grief. Let NO ONE tell you to get over it. They are being CRUEL. Some people just can't handle grief or someone grieving. This is their fault not yours because one day they will lose someone close and they will know how bad it feels. May even come looking for your for support. Creative grieving is another way to heal from loss such as on this site even if it be responding to some posts till you feel able to move forward. You will recover from grief in time. It is a process of slow healing. Best wishes.

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