Dad, I know your here , but hidden , Longing to see you, to hear your voice
by Peter Myles
(Lethbridge , Alberta.Canada)
I was out and away at a get away with friends when I found out something was wrong, that Sunday morning was perfect in weather n such , a friend told me to phone back home something was wrong , I phoned home , I phoned my grandparents who lived two blocks away for
My parent's .... I couldn't get ahold of anyone. I called my neighbor who had said the police were trying to locate me, I tried to call the hospital in the town where I grew up the town my parents just lived minutes away from, at that moment fear set in.... Something was very very wrong, I got ahold of the police in the town I grew up in and was told to phone the police in the city I am currently living In that they had a message for me, I called them and was told by one officer that " your dad is gravely I'll and I am to go to the hospital in the town I grew up in ASAP ,
My heart sank my mind was as if in a bad dream, I raced home as fast as ever trying to call the hospital number given to me by an operator, the phone I called to the number only rang continuously, with no answer, while driving fast but as safe as I could tried over n over, with no success, frustrated , extremely upset I tried the operator again and finally got another phone number to the er at the hospital, the nurse went and got my mom, and the moment she got on the phone and told me that dad just passed away ...... I lost my world my life as I knew it... I pulled over to the side of the road and yelled ...... My dad who had been fighting ALS and other complications...... Was gone ..... I missed my time to be there ..... Why this way why? I don't know but I tried to get to his side as quickly as possible.... The rest of the way home was long , lonely, unimaginably unreal , my worst night mare.... I got there and walked in to the hospital, but couldn't weep, couldn't believe , untill I saw for my self , my whole family was there as dad left in his sleep, I held his hand as I'd I we're a long lost child, waiting for him to say " im fine " ...... It didnt happen ..... Everyone went home one by one , mom left to let me be alone with dad, she waited outside ........ I looked at a man whom I grew up with sleeping in peace, the man who was my larger than life fortress, my buddy, my everything ... I talk to him and remembered as I walked in half an hour earlier a child was born.... My life as I viewd my dad was gone .... After talking to him I gave him a huge hug and as I hugged him he breathed as I squeezed him and I jumped back excited hoping he was not gone...... He was gone forever and nothing I could do would ever bring him back, after a while and after the funeral to which I did his ullage , it didn't seem real , every night since then seems like a dream so bad of which I cannot escape from, I searched for him every day , every where , hoping he would just be some where, August 21/2011 seems like yesterday the day he left, each day it just unreal , like an alternate reality ,
When does it end when do I get my dad back , where is he I ask my self this everyday as I feel that some where around some corner he is there waiting for me to run into him and that everything would be ok, at times quite often when I sleep I visit him in the outdoors which we both loved ....... Dad if I could just see you one more time to talk to you and give you my biggest hug ever , to ask you to not go away I would do anything to keep you but in perfect health , I need you my dad ! I don't know how to live in a world with out you , what am I suppose to do with out you here..... As your boy, your son I beg for you to come back ...... I hope that where ever you are your ok, I love you dad more than you will ever know !!!