its been two months now and i know it sounds silly but im so shocked... my dad is still dead. the silly part of me, the robot, i think believed that if i was strong. if i looked after my mam and if i didnt cry everywhere then my dad would somehow come and see me. i stuck to my part of the bargain and dad didnt come to see me. it has now finally sunk in that dad is really dead and always will be. im sorry if this doesnt make sense... i have had so many thoughts that dont make sense but they are there. i have hated people on sight because they were older than my dad and not dead. my dad would go mad if he could see the wimp i have been today! tomorrow i will try to be stronger.
My father past away June 13/11 I still relive the day he died it has not quiet sank in and it been almost a year I have to tell myself every day he's gone hard thing to deal with
Dad is still dead by: Cinnaeve
I completely understand your feelings. My Dad has only been dead a week and I feel angry and resentful (among a plethora of other emotions) on a daily basis. Every day I scan the obituaries and am envious of the families of the people who died a ripe old age (my Dad was only 64). I almost can't even feel sympathy for them because they had much more time with their loved ones and I was robbed, cheated. I know this is probably not healthy. I also get mad at the happy little families I see when I am out. I am resentful of the wonderful Christmas and holiday season all my friends had with their families. While they were opening their stupid little Christmas presents my Dad was losing his battle with cancer. It is not fair. Hopefully my negativity will subside with time.
Dad is still dead, by: KH
It's been a year now and I'm still in disbelief that my father is dead. I know that he is dead, yes, but it is still a hard concept to swallow. I remember how hard it was right after he died. I remember being angry at my mother because she was in her 40s and still had her daddy, but I was only 19 and I didn't have mine. I would get angry at people talking about how they haven't seen their dads in so long and I was thinking to myself, "Well, at least you get to go see yours. I can't." Even as silly as it was to be angry with the people, even though I knew it was unreasonable, I still had that anger burning somewhere underneath. It takes a long time, you'll have good days and you'll have bad days and they'll take you by surprise... But you do slowly become stronger. I wish you all the luck on your journey. God bless. KH
