Daddy I miss you so much my heart hurts

At this moment I have been crying uncontrollably but I am going to try and write what I feel. My Daddy died in Dec of 2013 @ 100 years old. I had my Daddy for over 60 years of my life. I still have my Mama who is in a nursing home and that is so hard for me because the guilt is taking a toll on my life. I cry all the time and sometimes cant stop, like now. My Daddy lived a long life and was a patient man who dealt with marriage, divorce, raising 4 children, meeting my mama with 2 children then starting a second family which are my siblings. Together they raised 13 children. I was the child who in my parents older years took on the responsibility of helping my parents and eventually moving them next door to a new home. Moms dementia took its toll on all who was there and the decision to have her in a home was the hardest thing I have ever had to do as a daughter. I cry for both of them, my Mama because she where she is. My Daddy because I miss him so much even though I know he was tired and wanted to go with our Dear Lord. I am alone quite a bit since my spouse works out of town all week. I try to not cry in front of anyone so I cry alone and cry myself to sleep quite often, I don't know how long the grieving process is. I just know I cry this same way for my little brother who died almost 6 years ago and the pain does not go away. Thank you for listening to me. A Daughter in pain

Comments for Daddy I miss you so much my heart hurts

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Aug 20, 2014
Feel the same
by: Anonymous

I lost my sweet father suddenly in January 2013. He suffered cardiac arrest and was gone in an instant. I am an only child and he and I were very close. I know he was blessed in that he did not suffer, but the shock of it all still has me reeling. I have managed to carry on for my own family, but I am broken inside and miss him so much. I am so sorry for your loss, and understand your pain. You are in my thoughts and I wish you peace as you heal. Barb

Aug 19, 2014
Stunned by grief
by: Anonymous

My sweet dad died two weeks ago from AML. He was a week shy of his 90th birthday. One of the things that has thrown me so is how fast it happened. He was diagnosed July 12 and took some blood transfusions and platelets but they weren't working so he stopped. He was always a healthy man and ran his first marathon at age 65. My sister and I spoke to him everyday including the day before he died. Then suddenly in a matter of a few hours mid-morning it was over. My stepmother held the phone up to his ear so we could say goodbye. Ouch. We had planned a large party for his 90th months before and he didn't want a funeral or any church service. So we went ahead and held the party making it a memorial. My mother died in 1991 and that was devastating. She was truly my best friend. I thought I was all set with that grief bit surprise! This new grief has sent me reeling double time. Some days I can be extremely removed and clinical then other days I cry until I'm practically sick. I have no words of wisdom but to all of you going through suffering I'll be here if you want to talk.

Aug 07, 2014
I can relate
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry for your loss. I too lost my father who was 97. It's only been about 2.5 weeks since he passed so I'm still having a hard time. There are good moments and bad. I have often thought that his latter years were bonus years, that I would be grateful for them, and wouldn't hurt as much when he died. But it didn't seem to help. I still miss him so much. He was such a huge part of my life. Since I live far away, I worried about or thought about him every day for many years. Even though it's a relief not to have to worry anymore, it's very hard getting used to the fact that he's gone. I still "see" him in his usual spots. And I keep wanting to take care of him. I am also filled with guilt, which I understand is normal. I could have come back 2 weeks earlier to care for him at home. I should have gotten him implants so that his dentures would fit and he could eat more easily. He had swallowing issues for many years due to dementia, but I could have figured out more accurately what he needed and maybe he wouldn't have gotten so frail. Everyone keeps telling me not to beat myself up because there's no way to know if another approach would have been better--it could have been worse. Perhaps for you, what you have set up for your mother might actually be the best option for her considering that you don't know what the other options would have offered? And I understand your sadness over the loss of your father. I do hope you find comfort in time.

Aug 05, 2014
Missing Dad
by: Therese

I can relate to so much of what you both said.My Dad died in 2008 and mum in 2013 and I miss them both so much it hurts daily. I too had my arguments especially with mum but we were very close and talked several times a day on the phone.i often find myself jealous of people who still have their parents and find it tough to think I might never meet them ever again.
yes we can remember the good times but grief isn't easy and I find myself drawn to this site as people understand here what it feels like unlike most people around us who feel we should not grieve for elderly parents.Some one recently told me that my parents lived their lives and now I need to live mine but life isn't as clear cut as that.I simply miss having them in my life To all those grieving the death of a parent please be gentle with yourselves and know you are not alone. Take care of yourselves.Therese.

Aug 05, 2014
Daddy I miss you so much my heart hurts
by: Doreen UK

It is such a painful process losing loved ones from your family. But more so losing a mom and dad. You have been blessed to have your father reach 100yrs. We have a life span of 70yrs. according to the Bible and anything over that is a Blessing. My father is in a care home at 93yrs. and no quality of life. When he dies I will be sad but more accepting due his age. Healing from grief is a slow process. Crying is good grief and you will heal after the tears fall. The best way forward is by TAKING ONE DAY AT A TIME. It is very hard having a husband travel and be away from home most of the week. My husband had a job like this as an exhibition carpenter. He did this job for 47yrs. I just got on with life the best way I could rearing our 3 children. I baked and cooked a lot so there was always good food when my husband came home. We were married 44yrs. and I lost him to cancer 2yrs. ago. His cancer battle lasted 3yrs.39days. Make the most of your time and put value in each day. Don't waste time pining for the lost time your husband is away. Put your days to good use and make times special. You will be enhancing your life and making it better.

Aug 05, 2014
Missing Dad
by: Sandy

While going thro your blog I was experiencing your emotions myself . I too lost my dad on 11th of June this year . He was 80 years old and had a sudden peaceful death. Everyone consoled me saying how he passed away without troubling anyone , the Lord granted him a death free from pain etc etc. But his death has created a void which can never be filled. Day in and out I keep thinking of our times spent together- many a times at peace and other times lot of arguments.But we were always together. He used to rely a lot on me. But at any age a father is a father and daughter is a daughter. We always remain their darling daughter - It was good to know that you took great care of your parents. May Lord give you courage during your moments of grief and may your fathers soul RIP.

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