Daddy I'm sorry I didn't do enough!
I lost my daddy Jan 16, 2010 @ 6:55 in the morning at the age of 74, 11 days before my birthday; I was 7 months pregnant by my son. Words cannot explain or show the pain I still go through every day. I’m angry, sad & emotional. I put a brave face every day for my kids. My dad live 3 hours away, he refuses to move in with anyone of us. He was so strong and independent always willing to help anyone that needed the help. I got a call Dec 16 @ 5 in the morning from my brother saying he wasn’t feeling well. When I called my dad I could hear his voice breaking when I asked what was wrong. He just kept saying I’m fine Corazon (my heart) don’t worry it’s too far to drive. It’s never too far I made the 3 hour drive with my brother and brought him back to see his doctor. It feels like a bad dream, he was taken from us too soon. It’s my fault he is not here, I was going through so much in my marriage that I neglected to see the mistakes done by the nurses the day he went into ICU. I could have done something and because I was so stupid to think about my problems I didn’t do anything. There is not a day that goes by I don’t think of the things I could have done different. I’m sorry daddy it was my fault you are not here. Till this day I have never told anyone this that I’m the one to blame. I haven’t been able to cry or grieve for him I cry in silence and hate myself when I do cry because it was my fault. How do I grieve? How do I tell everyone I neglected to see what was done wrong? I was daddies little girl and I have failed him.