daddy,i miss much

by ashley

a phone call telling me that your father is in the hospital you gotta run it was a car accident ..and i thought it's okay he is fine he'd be fine he'd survive this it's just a car accident he's going to be okay
i went to the hospital with my mom I've seen him screaming in pain but they kept telling me he's going to be okay and that what I've been telling myself since then they asked me to go home i was like why ..why no i won't leave him ..what happened please tell me no he can't be gone no you said he'd be okay why ..!! they told me he was going to be okay why you lied to me ..
the next time I've seen him and it was the last time, i kissed him on his cheek which was cold as ice
and since that day it's so cold i don't feel warm ..i don't feel safe ..daddy,I'm afraid
how it's even possible that you can lose someone in a blink of an eye is that too much to get the chance to say goodbye
how can i even tolerate the fact that you ain't here anymore that when i wake up in the morning i won't see you and you won't pick me up to school ...i can't stop waiting for you to come home and kiss me on my cheeks
daddy,i cry so much and you are not here to tell me it's going to be okay
daddy,i need you i want you to see my graduation and i want you to be with me in my wedding and there were so many things we were supposed to live together right now they don't make sense,dad they don't ..including breathing
I'd do anything just too see ya again
they don't even give me the chance to heal I've to go to college everyday pretend that I'm over it and that I'm fine but I'm not fine i miss daddy it's not getting easier it's getting worse everyday i realize that he's really gone and he's not coming back
no one gets what's I'm going through and i don't blame them quite honestly i know it's hard to put yourself in someone's else shoes
it's been 3 months but i still remember it like it was yesterday and in the same time it feels like it's been years since the day he's gone
will i ever heal !! i keep dreaming that he wake up and he came back to us
i still can't get it where is my daddy !!?

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