Daddy's Girl is missing her DADDY
by Donna Maria
Daddy's Girl in the City
I was raised by my father...(without my mother). The sun rose and set on him in my eyes. He kept me with him all the time... He was the band director at my school in elementary school, close by when in middle school, and he was the assistant principal of my high school. He kept changing to keep us close together (at least that's what I thought).
By the time I was a teenager preparing for college, I was sick of it. He asked me to go to a specific college (which meant he could have gotten a job there for me). I chose somewhere far off. Sometimes he would show up at my dorm to take me to dinner. But, I never returned home after 17... it was too much to me to live like a little girl again.
During my senior year of undergraduate school, he passed away from cancer. He was diagnosed and passed within 4 months.
I had no idea what to do. All the time I thought I was "grown" and suddenly I didn't feel ready. The blinders came off and the bad things he protected me from hit me head on, full force.
Despite these struggles, I finished undergraduate school and finished my master's degree....but I was empty. And lonely. So...I got married at 23 to a man I had dated for 5 months. And it was not a good choice. By the time I was 34, I finally left a horrible marriage, with 2 children in tow. It was struggle after struggle....
I felt like if my father had lived, none of this would have happened. I was angry....I AM ANGRY...I was lonely...I AM LONELY....
And despite having a wonderful situation financially, and good people around me....a home, a car, security, etc. At 37...I still miss my Daddy.