by Mandy Robison
(Malcom, IA, USA)
6 weeks ago today we buried my dad. I am the youngest of 3 children of terrific parents. My dad was 68 when he died and I am 39. My dad had been struggling health-wise the past year or so. My brother is in the military and has been stationed everywhere both state-side and over-seas. My sister and her husband live an hour away. My husband and I live 10 minutes from my parents. Needless to say, I saw my parents the most. I knew what a struggle my mom was having with my dad and his health. We tried to get my parents to move into town as they live in a 1910 5 bedroom farmhouse with 1 bath upstairs. Dad couldn't do the steps anymore so we made plans for them to move around Labor Day this year. 5 days before my dad died, the 5 of us were together to discuss the timeline of getting my parents moved. My dad shared with the 3 of us kids that he was "going against his word" as he swore that he would never leave the farm until Smith Funeral Home carried him out feet first. Well the ironic thing is that dad got what he wanted and he didn't have to go back on his word. Dad died in the middle of the night. My mom found him on the floor on Thurs., May 17th @ 5:30AM. Smith Funeral Home took my dad out of his house @ 7:30 that morning (head first though)
I am struggling as things are starting to become difficult for my mom as she grieves. She currently is mad @ my dad for leaving her, for not telling her how sick he really was, and for not being here for her any more. I am struggling and am very sad as I miss my dad so much it tears me up. I'm trying to deal with my mom's emotions as well as mine. I know that I have to take care of myself but I also feel that since I'm the one who is 10 min away, I need to be there for my mom.
As a huge daddy's girl I am really struggling and missing him. I know that he is in heaven with a brand new body. He is not in any pain and he is happy. I have to continue to believe in Jesus Christ as that is the only way that I will ever get to see him again. I don't doubt Christ and his love. I just miss my dad so much.