Daddy's Little Girl

by Maria H
(London)

When I hear people talking about their fathers in a bad way, it brings a tear to my eye. If I had a wish, it would be to spend time with my father, even if it was for a minute. People do not realise how fortunate they are to have their father by their side. People say that the true value of something is not realised until it is taken away.
My father had always been someone I could look up to as my hero and my inspiration. I could tell him anything because I was his little girl, we were inseparable, he had taught me how to read, write and spell. But when he passed away when I was 5, I felt that I had lost my father and my best friend, and that my world had come crashing down.
My mother blames me for my father's death. She even says it herself. She says how I am cursed from my past life, to be an orphan at a young age. She says how in my past life, I was disobedient to my parents, and so in this life, I'm being punished by not having a father in my life. Believe you me, it is very hurtful to hear your own mother say this to you. At the end of the day, I believe in predestination, and what ever happens is because Allah had willed for it to happen..
She also says if I was awake on the night that my father passed away, and called the ambulance, they would have come and he would probably still be alive, and the fact that I wasn't, means it's my fault.
I had lost my mentor, the person who was meant to help guide me through the many parts of growing up. My mother to be perfectly honest, has had no input into my education and studies over the past 11 years. I just want someone to motivate me to do well in my studies and support me in whatever I choose to do. I want someone that I can look up to and that would care for me and protect me no matter what..
Although I only spent 5 years with you, they were the best 5 years of my life, and I will never forget those moments spent with you. You may not be here, but you will always be in my heart.

Comments for Daddy's Little Girl

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Dec 04, 2012
It's hard
by: Anonymous

I had lost my dad too people new to realize how lucky they are to have a father to walk them down the aisl I lost my dad when I was three and lost my step dad when it was a couple weeks before my birthday I am so sorry for your lose....

Dec 03, 2012
Daddy's Little Girl
by: Doreen U.K.

Maria I am sorry for your loss of a father when you were growing up. Your mother is unreasonable to expect you as a 5yr. old to take the responsibility of an adult to get an ambulance for your father. Your mother is very conveniently pushing her responsibilities onto you. She seems to have done this to you at a young age because she could get away with it. You need to put the responsibility on her shoulders where it belongs. It is a mother's responsibility to nurture her children. The father plays his part but it is the mother who is the sole carer whilst a father is out at work for the family.
Whilst your mother is still alive you need to sit her down and pass the responsibilities back to her. You need to brief her as to how she has made you feel through your growing years. It is untrue about a past life and you not respecting your parents so now you have to pay the price by not having a father in your life. THIS IS SIMPLY NOT TRUE.
You could benefit greatly from seeing a CRUSE Bereavement counsellor and get these silly notions out of your psyche (mind) otherwise it will pollute your thinking and development. Honour your father in the best way you know how. It is true the we don't appreciate the value of something till we lose it.
Try and realise that a lot of people have fathers around but they have an unhappy existence and feel let down and so offload negative comments about their father. Don't make a comparison. Every perons' life experiences are different and should be respected. In a few cases there may be children who are just downright disrespectful to their fathers and it is only when they are not around that they will go through immense grief.
Better to sort out things with your mother so that you don't carry a load you were not meant to carry. I have been where you are and had to spend years in counselling. it was the best things I did for myself. I got my life back and the skills to confront people and situations that need to be. I was so messed up I couldn't have survived. I am in a healthier frame of mind and my mission is to support people like you and help you to be in a happier place. It is not wrong for you to want a mentor and someone to guide you and support you in your studies and in whatever way you need this in life. You need encouragement and someone to care for you. I hope to God that he sends someone to rescue you and help you build your life up how it was meant to be. Best wishes.

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