My grief began last August. My father-in-law became abruptly ill. Long story short, he had viral encephalitis. We spent weeks at the hospital only to have no real answers, thus moving to hospice. He improved and we returned to hospital for more testing. Still, no answers. We moved Dad into a nursing home, where he died 2 weeks later. My husband and I were with him when he passed. This was my husband's first significant death to experience.
My grandmother died in February after a 6 year battle with Alzheimer's disease. I was with her when she passed. I have always been very close to my grandparents and this death was hard, in part, to see the heartbreak of my Papa, her husband of 70 years. Her passing was drawn out over 10 grueling days and was a relief in some ways, but no less hard.
My husband had been very quiet and detached in the past months. I had chalked it up to him grieving his father. Lots of details in that, but in March he dropped the bomb on me that he didn't know if he wanted to stay married. He is, in effect, suffering a midlife crisis. He moved out in July. I felt like I would die.
My Papa passed suddenly this past Monday. We had his service yesterday. He has been my rock, my father in many ways and my very best friend in the world. I am devastated with his passing. I feel like I have lost everything. I don't care if I go on at all. I don't even know how to begin to make decisions about my life right now. I just don't even want to move right now. I have layer in bed all day. I feel like if I get out that I'm forced to deal with it.