I am a married man who had a 10 year affair with a beautiful lady 20 years my junior.
For the sake of my family and to stop any heartache for my children i tried to break the relationship off 4 time in the last three years and finally at Christmas i said i could not carry on with the deceit.
She was absolutely heartbroken and i know she had to have medication and up to 6 weeks ago was still pleading with me to re think my decision.
I loved this lady very much and thought times of leaving my wife, who is also a beautiful brilliant lady who does not deserve this disloyalty. Each time i thought of this the heartache to the rest of my family stopped me doing this.
My lover told me last week she has met someone she can once again be intimate with and now im absolutely heartbroken.
Is this me being totally selfish as i have looked back at my letters telling my lover that i had to end the relationship and i know i broke her heart also.
Is this payback time, am i totally selfish, im being sick, angry and full of jealousy with the thought of her laying next to and touching someone else.
Should i keep in touch, as she would like me too, or should i end all contact.
Im 49 and should know better but i love my wife my children and i know i still love my lover.
Any advice taken Davey