Day 50

by Teresa
(Lufkin, Texs)

Why can't I sleep? Why am I a bundle of tears again?! I was doing better. I've been so busy learning my new job. Now, I find myself on this computer unable to sleep, knowing I have to do interviews on new applications today, yet full of tears and memories. Where did these come from? I WAS DOING BETTER!!!

Why do I suddenly miss him so much and feel as if it was June 23rd all over again?
They say it gets better with time. It's been 50 days and suddenly it's been no days at all. Where did this come from? I need him! I miss him!! I will always love only him!!

Comments for Day 50

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Aug 13, 2010
TERESA
by: ANN

TIME STANDS STILL WHEN YOU ARE IN PAIN. MY MOM PASSED JULY 2009. I CRIED CONSTANTLY. THEN MY BROTHER PASSED JULY 2010. NOW I'M SO SAD IT ALL RUNS TOGETHER. MY MOM AND ONE BROTHER PASSED
AFTER A FEW DAYS OF ILLNESS. MY DAD PASSED AFTER 23 MONTHS OF BATTLING CANCER. MY OTHER BROTHER PASSED SUDDENLY OF A HEART ATTACK. SO I WONDER, WHICH IS THE WORST. IF YOU KNOW BEFOREHAND, YOU START TO GRIEVE THEN AND EVERY DAY UNTIL THE END COMES. IF IT'S SUDDEN, THE SHOCK IS UNBEARABLE.
IT'S NEVER EASY. BUT WE GRIEVE IN OUR OWN WAY WITH NO TIME LIMIT. I PRAY CONSTANTLY, BUT DO NOT DO THE THINGS I DID BEFORE. MAYBE SOME TIME
SOMEWHERE, IT WILL START TO HEAL. BLESS YOU.

Aug 13, 2010
Loss
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss. I know the pain you feel. My 27 year old son died on May 21, 2010 from complications of Diabetes. I too will think I am doing better and the get hit by a big wave of grief. He was my baby and my only son. I spend a lot of time on the computer putting his name on any memorial site that I can. Yes, they time heals but I think my clock is broke because I cannot get past the shock that he is gone. It is still so hard to believe.

I want you to know that my thoughts and prayers are with you.

Aug 13, 2010
let me echo hope
by: Judy

Let me echo Hope here. Grief is a roller coaster ride and you never know which days are up and which are down. I too am at the the eight month mark and I've arrived at work bawling my head off over a song on the radio, or some other thing has intruded into my thoughts and sets me off. Other days are fine, some are just awful. I know Barry would want me to be strong and I am trying to be but the God's truth is it's lonely and sometimes just plain hard. Keep hanging in there . Cry when that feels right. This is no easy path.

JM

Aug 13, 2010
The ebb and flow of greif...
by: Hope

Teresa,

8 months in as of 8/06/10 I wish that I could say in truth that it gets easier. I wish that I could promise you that. But, It is an ebb and flow like the tides, grief washing in and out. This last month has been the hardest,the memories striking difficult blows.

But if you just breathe, in and out and listen/feel he is there beside you, helping you through this most difficult of times. Our "Love Ones" seem to sense our painful grief. Just close your eyes for that moment let the tears fall, drop by drop down your face and he'll be there...as an angel helping you guiding you...
I promise.....HH

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