Dead Husband but still here in Body
I met my husband as a teenager, young and innocent, married at 22. Had our daughter at 23, had my son at 24. And my last son at 26.This was the best time of my life and i would never chosen anyone at the birth table.We had so much trouble, financially etc...and it felt he was slipping away daily from me.Life and work was just more intresting out there than coming home to a sick, tired depressed woman. All i ever wanted was that YOU told me you loved me and that we could get through it all. All my dreams were shattered. But I am still building new ones at 30, and I tell myself daily that i know i tried hard enough, iam good enough.And I will enjoy my life without you. When I dream about YOU, it was the person you were. I loved that one, I dislike the new one. Its as if some horrible man climbed into my husband and I cant get him out your body....You are dead to me. But I have to be reminded by you -seeing you.
Another man walked into my life adoring, worshipping the floor I walk on. And he is everything i always wanted. My King, and me His Queen.
But why wasnt it you??
Why couldnt you fight the depression with me, why couldnt you fight for ME?