Dead? Right...

by Allison
(Canada)

Fifteen months ago in ICU they said you were dead. I was there,holding on to you for dear life. It wasn't to be. Death came into that sterile room to mock us, superimposing all the lines of life giving fluids and oxygen intubation. For a few days Death was kept at bay but as the doctor told us, it was a sham. Smoke and mirrors fooled us to believe you were still alive. You really weren't. Then we had to decide to let you go to Death. It was a victory for Him. The dark days followed. Days turned into months. Disbelief was a constant companion. Our counter to Death. Somehow this will turn into some long drawn out nightmare that will right itself into our old reality. Kent will be fine and we'll laugh about this terrible mixup. And so the days and months followed bleakly championing Death's gain. Bit by bit it wore us down. Kent will never be here again. It has been a very long struggle but I finally have to say that you won. Kent is never coming back. It's been a long journey. I give up. Kent is dead. Death, you won.

Comments for Dead? Right...

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Feb 20, 2013
It's a long hard road
by: Donna

So sorry for your loss.
My beloved husband of 33 years died almost 5 years ago - under similar circumstances. One minute he was dancing at his birthday party, the next he was on a respirator with bleeps and numbers and just numbness for me and my two sons.
After all this time, my head knows he is not coming back but my heart still aches for that not to be true.
Please find strength in the fact that you are not alone - lean on your family and friends - and just take baby steps...one day at a time.

Feb 12, 2013
I refuse to let death win!
by: Anonymous

I have been exactly where you are both at (and still find myself fighting the urge to capitulate the fight). I lost Ron, the love of my life 10 months ago after a very short time together. I however refuse to give in to death! It cannot take away my treasured memories, it cannot take away the unconditional love we had for each other, it cannot take away our moment in this life together, it cannot take away the eternity that we will eventually have together, it cannot take away the life lessons I have been forced to learn by having this loss thrown in my face, it cannot take away the fact that I am here to celebrate our life together and ensure all are aware of what we had together, it cannot take away the fact that I am among a fortunate few to know what experiencing authentic love is like, it will not take away the smile I will eventually have on my face when I can say "Death-you have thrown a challenge at me/us-just watch us accept that challenge and throw it back at you with the following comment - Challenge accepted-now just watch me/us rise above you and crush you to oblivion-you will not win, you will cower and hide and look for others to bully and intimidate, but you will never win..."

Ted

Feb 11, 2013
what a nightmare this is!
by: June

Allison
You are right....death has won.....you put it right. So sorry for you and I really know what you have been going through since your Kent has been gone. My Mike has been gone almost a year now and I, like you, realize that this is the life I am going to have to continue with. I am in this nightmare, hoping to wake up. Reality sets in and I know that Mike is not coming back. I miss him so. How I got through this year I don't know. Just going through the motions.
Thinking of you.
June,
Canada

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