Dear sweet momma
My mom died July of 2013 in a horrible car accident. I know the grief that I am going through is completely normal (or so says my grief counselor), but I feel as if I am dying on the inside. People make comments that I seem to be doing ok, but my kids lost their grandma, I lost my best friend, and I am not ok. Not at all.
I am a little mad at my mom. She made a mistake and paid for it with her life...but how do I know that is all that happened? What if the other driver was distracted? So many "what ifs"...and I have come to realize that those what ifs will break my heart even more than it already is.
Is she ok where ever she is? I want to believe that she is ok, but I just don’t know. I hope that she is at peace with what happened and that she knows that we will all be ok. We miss her so so so much, but we have to move on with life and I have to get to a point that I can deal with the crazy emotions with a sudden loss. I hate that life just moves on. My world has been turned upside down and life just keeps moving on.
I fear the day that people stop asking me how I am doing...but at the same time I don't want people to ask.