death, be not proud

by anonymous
(south africa)

I was born into a happy world, with the knowledge that I have an older brother, an only sibling, being 7 years apart, I looked up to him and respected him dearly regardless of the many petty arguments, I loved my brother and could never imagine a day without him.. Until of course, the tragic day came upon my family, on the 29th of the 11th month 2012, at about 00:05 am in the morning, my mother received a phone call that my brother had fallen off a 4 story window and cannot be seen, death did not cross my mind at that instant, until the paramedics confirmed it.. I was shattered to bits and pieces, he was only 20 and going for 21 on the 15th of the 12th month.. Up to this day, I cannot comprehend what I go through every second, I go through life but I'm not happy, I see no reason to be happy because the person that gave me that reason, is no more. We did so many things together, I remember all the fun times we shared, the laughs, the moments we spent just listening to music.. My brother was a free spirit, who possessed many awesome qualities and today I'm brother less, I'm empty and I miss im every second.. There's so much that was left unsaid...

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Oct 02, 2013
death, be not proud
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your brother and only sibling. He was so young and had his whole life ahead. Life is such that we just go on each day as if it was normal and ours. Till tragedy strikes and shatters our world like yours has been. Grief is such a slow process to heal from. You must have had such a strong bond with your brother that hurts so much still.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 17 months ago to a deadly cancer. I got through my grief one day at a time. But In the first 6 months I did very little. I took to the couch and bathed my sorrows with TV. and just food in the oven. I nurtured myself this way. It worked. I am moving forward better. losing a loved one hurts us so deeply we can't process our feelings well till further along in life when we cry a lot and the healing process starts. Sometimes just talking to a grief counsellor can help. They are skilled in such ways that we find the healing process start sooner. You say you see no reason to be happy since your brother was your whole world and He was your happiness. There is a strong connection between you and your brother. This is why it hurts so much. Try and see yourself as an individual separate from your brother but connected by family. Sometimes we suffer an identity problem when we cannot separate what has happened. It then becomes a problem where a sibling defines who we are, by close connection and interaction. Perhaps all it will take is time for you to grieve each day and you will start to heal from your loss. But if you still find yourself struggling then try a grief counsellor. I hope you are comforted in your grief by good supportive extended family and friends.

Oct 02, 2013
your brother
by: Anonymous

I know how you think about them every minute. I have a son that died about five months ago. I wish every moment he was still here. He had a younger brother, and I know its so hard for him. He keeps everything to himself, so I don't know how much he struggles. But they grew up together, and so many pictures and videos they are together. Its hard for me to look at the pictures, too sad for now. Its so hard to believe we'll never see them again. Its impossible to think. But I guess we have to try. As they say life goes on. But a much emptier one.

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