Death is Not an Option

by Debra

Nine months and counting
Will I ever stop counting?
It's been so long since I've heard his voice.
I miss it.
His words of encouragement
To fend off my frustration.
Now there is only silence.
Who will give me strength?
Who will dry my tears?
I feel so alone.
Even those closest to me are like strangers.
I refuse to let them in,
Refuse to accept their offerings of support.
I don't want comfort.
I don't want to feel better.
I don't want to feel anything!
I am an outsider looking in
Through a smoky glass window
At a world that continues to move too fast
I can't keep up
I feel like I'm being swept away
Carried out to sea
Struggling against the waves
My body aches and I'm so tired of fighting.
But death is not an option
How ironic that is.
He had no choice.
Death stole him away
Against his will.
And here I am
Offering myself up
A willing sacrifice
And death turns away from me
Forcing me to carry this grief
Like shackles on my soul

August 22, 2013

Comments for Death is Not an Option

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Sep 14, 2013
I too, know what you are feeling...

I am sooo VERY sorry for your DEAR SWEET Hubby passed from this world to the next on July 2, 2013..My heart hurts for you and I too have felt all that is in your poem...I am soo very sorry...I am told it does get better, not fast, but,it does, I am still waiting too....SHALOM

Sep 07, 2013
I don't want to feel better
by: Jolynn

I'm so sorry for yor loss. One of your lines hit me...Oh my Gosh! You MUST go to YouTube and find
a song by Danny Gokey "I Will Not Say Goodbye" Lyrics. It's perfect.

Sep 07, 2013
death not an option
by: Anonymous---MI

Debra---I am past nine months in my grief for the loss of my wonderful husband. You have said just what I feel at times. May God help you and all of we who are grieving.

Sep 07, 2013
Death is Not an Option
by: Doreen U.K.

Debra often in grief we feel so alone and in a world of silence that we exclude others from our space where we want the space and privacy to honour the one we have lost. any intrusion would at times be an invasion of our privacy.
In time let people in. We were not meant to live in isolation.
You express so well the journey of life and death coming in to soil what life took from you.
Life always come's with the package. We are not meant to think of DEATH. It would rob us of LIFE. so we quietly accept this gift of life that we had no option or choice to receive. We embrace this life and live it out how we were meant to.
Jesus came to us to take away the sting of death by offering his body up for us. This means that DEATH can only rob us, but not DESTROY us. We have the opportunity of believing we will be lonely for a while. But in the twinkling of an eye Jesus can return and change our world to Joy by giving us ETERNAL LIFE. Reunited with our loved one's again. this is VICTORY. Over DEATH.

Sep 06, 2013
Dear Debra
by: Judith in California

9 months is still early on and your loss is still so new. I wonder if you will feel as I do on your 3 year mark. it's been 3 years for me and I relate to your post so much. Time keeps on slipping into the future and I want my past. Back to when he and I were youger and he was well and we did things. Hell,, I'd even take him back as ill as he was..for it's better than nothing. People just don't understand , those who haven't had that loss yet. Some days are an effort ..others are a breeze until nightfall.

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