death of her made me lose myself

by Alayna Olson
(Cokato,MN United States)

Well it was almost 5 years ago on July 4th 2009. The night before I told my mom I love you last words I ever said to her before in the morning she got in a terrible one person car accident. My aunts woke me up by her screaming and crying. When she left my dads friends came and watch us for a bit. My dad was in Colorado but soon came home early. We were all confused until he broke the news to us. I've never seen my dad cry before ever. It was so devastating and now it haunts me. I cry a lot cause of it. I'm 13 and I've suffered through cutting, bulimia, and depression. Its mostly because of that traumatic part of my life...idk what to do.

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Jun 09, 2014
death of her made me lose myself
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your mom to a sudden death. You are 13yrs. and still too young to know everything about the feelings of dying and what emotions you will have and it will confuse you. I feel sad for young people like yourself going through the loss of a mother at such a young age when you still need a mother's nurturing. Your father's grief will be different from yours and he would have taken a while to process his loss. Children do often have such an innocent way about them that does help the surviving parent. Your father will have immense responsibilities in caring for you. Just try to communicate with your dad and let him know what your needs are. You can also ask your dad what he needs from you in support. Even if it is just to help with getting dinner prepared and washing the dishes. It is all the little things that you don't think is much that works and is more helpful than you would know. If you are cutting yourself, and have bulimia and depression these are all serious emotional difficulties which arise from not coping with grief and pain. You need to not keep this to yourself but talk to another adult. Seeing a counsellor would help you at this stage of your life before it gets worse. Otherwise you will damage yourself more and it will take longer for you to get your life back. Talk to your dad and let him know what is going on. Or you can speak to a school counsellor or your doctor. But you do need help now. Counselling is something I did. And it works and I feel so much better. You may cry a lot, but this is good. This is where you will start to Heal. You won't feel as bad as you do now. Please write back and let us know what support you have in place for yourself.

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