Death of my father and Death of my relationship my ex-boyfriend of 8 years
(PG county MD 20735)
I don't know if you can help me. I recently lost my father suddenly to an acute illness. My father hated my ex-boyfriend who is the father of my 2 year old son. I just recently found out my ex is moving on to another woman who is taking him on a trip to Las Vegas. We have been broken up for a year but we've been friends with benefits for 6 months but that has stopped since we stopped living together and I went home to stay with my parents. Long story short, my dad hated that my ex never properly asked for my hand in marriage and he appeared very disrespectful to him because they had a few arguments. But since I was staying at my parents house, my dad had to see my ex weekly because he had to pick up my son. Christmas eve my dad suffered a heart failure due to his chronic illness with gout. He died Christmas eve. I was devastated! I cried so much it made my heart hurt. I never got to tell him that he was right about my ex. It appeared like I took my ex's side but I didn't want to chose sides. To my dad, if I didn't just take him to child support court and not allowed him to come over then I wasn't handling the situation the way he thought I should. Anyways, it's been a month after my father's death, and I am so depressed that my ex had moved on and he's enjoying life with his new lady and I'm here crying everyday over the death of my father and the death of my relationship with my ex! How do I channel this grief properly? I am a songwriter and composer..I write about my grief but lately I have been so grief stricken that I haven't come up with any new music. Help me with your opinion. I hope you are opened minded and not judgmental. Harsh criticism is what I receive generally. I really want to know how to grieve.