Death of my firstborn child my son.
(OKC, OK USA)
The loss of my son has been more devestating than the loss of his father in 98, my mother in 96, my father in 70, and a brother who commited suicide at the age of 25 in 73. The loss of a child no matter what their age is overwhelmingly painful. Now that I have lost a child I wish that I had been more understanding of my mothers loss of her son at such a young age and the choice he made to take his own life. It is one of the facts of life 'until it happens to you you'll never know the extreme pain of the loss of a child." Friends have lost children, and it was and is hard to see their grief. I just hoped and prayed that this terrible loss would not visit my life,and soul, but it did. The death of my son was sudden, a massive heart attack. Reading some of the notes written have been helpful as we know we are not alone, however it is a group that we would rather not belong to. They say that there is a reason for everything however, I fail to see a good reason to have a child preceed you in death. Friends and family are our greatest blessings at such a time as this.
The day that the airplane brought his body from another state for burial and at approximately the time the plane arrived here in Okla. City, a dove appeared at the top window of the living room window. It was a beautiful white dove and after it got our attention by pecking on the glass very persistantly it raised its wings fully stretched out, it was so beautiful it lowered its wings slowly flew to another window above the front door and watched my daughter and I very intently for a little while and then flew off. We choose to believe that Ray came back to give us a little comfort. There has never been a bird land there in the 14 yrs that I've lived here nor has there been one land there since. At his funeral we had the vocalist sing on THE WINGS OF A SNOW WHITE DOVE, it seemed appropriate. If we are watchful our loved ones will help give us peace and try to help comfort us and cushion our loss. I am sure this sounds strange but it really happened. Ray died Oct. 2011. We will miss him, and love his children, and be thankful for the time we had him decorate our lives with his presence.