Death of my firstborn child my son.

by Fran

The loss of my son has been more devestating than the loss of his father in 98, my mother in 96, my father in 70, and a brother who commited suicide at the age of 25 in 73. The loss of a child no matter what their age is overwhelmingly painful. Now that I have lost a child I wish that I had been more understanding of my mothers loss of her son at such a young age and the choice he made to take his own life. It is one of the facts of life 'until it happens to you you'll never know the extreme pain of the loss of a child." Friends have lost children, and it was and is hard to see their grief. I just hoped and prayed that this terrible loss would not visit my life,and soul, but it did. The death of my son was sudden, a massive heart attack. Reading some of the notes written have been helpful as we know we are not alone, however it is a group that we would rather not belong to. They say that there is a reason for everything however, I fail to see a good reason to have a child preceed you in death. Friends and family are our greatest blessings at such a time as this.
The day that the airplane brought his body from another state for burial and at approximately the time the plane arrived here in Okla. City, a dove appeared at the top window of the living room window. It was a beautiful white dove and after it got our attention by pecking on the glass very persistantly it raised its wings fully stretched out, it was so beautiful it lowered its wings slowly flew to another window above the front door and watched my daughter and I very intently for a little while and then flew off. We choose to believe that Ray came back to give us a little comfort. There has never been a bird land there in the 14 yrs that I've lived here nor has there been one land there since. At his funeral we had the vocalist sing on THE WINGS OF A SNOW WHITE DOVE, it seemed appropriate. If we are watchful our loved ones will help give us peace and try to help comfort us and cushion our loss. I am sure this sounds strange but it really happened. Ray died Oct. 2011. We will miss him, and love his children, and be thankful for the time we had him decorate our lives with his presence.

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Mar 13, 2012
So sorry for your loss
by: Anonymous

I would like to share with you how my daughter reached out to me after she was murdered almost two years ago. She was 29yo, full of love and life. She was brutally murdered and we still have no justice for her. She was murdered July 2010. That Thanksgiving I was outside of my work with a friend. The most beautiful butterfly, in November landed on her shoulder and I told her immediately that was Heather saying Mom it's Thanksgiving and I'm ok. On Mother's Day, I reached in my purse to get a lighter. The one I picked up had her name etched on it. That was Heataher saying Mom, it's Mother's Day and I am ok. I believe that with every fiber in my body. I hope you see more signs and recognize them. God Bless you and your family.

Mar 12, 2012
loss of a son
by: Bee-lieve ( Hope)

I totally understand where you are coming from. I lost my oldestson Jan2,2012. He was only 41. He died from complications of diabetes. My heart has NEVER felt such emptiness and pain.There are times I want to crawl into a hole and never cme out. I miss him so much.

Mar 12, 2012
Its so hard...
by: Cindy Newport News

Dear Fran, your post was sad, but lovely. I grew up in Midwest City Okla. I lost my 27 yr. old son quite suddenly too (his story is here in death of an adult child). His name was Dylan and he was only 27 when he died from an appendix rupture. His loss has been very hard as he was my only child. I know what you mean about the loss of a child being extraordinarily painful, sometimes the aching is so much that I literally can't breathe. There is no loss so devastating. I wonder if I'm ever gonna be whole enough to have any happiness again. He will have been gone a year on the 21st of this month.

You know when our children were alive, if you feel like I do, their goodness was so strong that we could never perceive that light being suddenly extinguished and all that they had to give the world gone. How can it be!!? Oh, how much I miss my baby...and I am profoundly sorry for the loss of yours. You are so right that they send us signs to help us. When Dylan first passed I cried and said to him that he left me without a star to guide me. The next night there was the brightest star right over the house. It made me realize that he will always be near to me with God's love. Please know that God saves our every tear and he has our gentle children in his keeping. Stay strong.


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