Death of not one but two fathers

by Kayla Arthur Fleming
(Arvada, CO)

I am 19 years old and have lost not one but two dads, I grew up with no dads just me and my mom and my brother and sister. Then when I was in 2nd grade my sisters dad came back into our lives, and it was good until summer of 3rd grade (3rd going to 4th) the date was June 11, 2002, daddy Jim died of a heart attack and I lost him forever. It took me forever to get over it, and I'd say I'm still not over it I sob at night but things, as the always do, got better. Then in 5th grade summer (5th going to 6th) my dad came home, things were good again I had a dad to fill that void in my heart, while I still missed daddy Jim my dad, Joe and I had him for 9 years all the way up until March 30, 2012, when my grandmother used his past against him to take my little sister from us, daddy was removed from the home, I remember that day well, we spent the day together working on my moms car then that night he was gone, but he was still alive. Until April 24, 2012 at 1:30 AM we (my mother and I) got a text message from daddy saying good-bye. He had hung himself so that we could get my little sister back. Its the hardest thing in the world to be a daddy's girl and lose both of the men you called daddy. I will always miss daddy Jim and daddy Joe. My life will never be the same without them.

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Oct 09, 2012
Death of not one but two fathers.
by: Doreen U.K.

Kayla I am sorry for your loss of both your dad's. You could benefit from seeing a grief counsellor to support you in your grief due to your father's sudden death by suicide. Your dad probably did something wrong that caused him to go away. He came back into your life. You then had your young sister taken away from your home and life, Your Dad Joe is then removed from the home and kills himself so you get your sister back. Your grandmother had a hand in this removal of Joe from the home and the removal of your sister from the home. You show no anger in your story towards your grandmother's interaction here. Probably with good reason. There is a lot going on here. A grief counsellor would be of benefit here in the family dynamics that caused your father to die from suicide.
In time you would grieve the other losses that caused the gaps in your life, and the loss of your father moving out of your life and then coming back and taking his own life. All this is affecting your grief now and needs to be explored so that you can move forward better into a happier life.

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