My ex while I was deployed spent all of our money because of drug use. Not quite knowing of what happen because I gave her control of everything while I was gone. She got pregnant when I returned. I raised my little girl for over two and a half years. We divorced because of the financial turmoil she put us in and the complete loss of trust for her. I Loved my daughter more then anything. Everyone would say how i was like butter when i had her. Your such a great Dad and you can see the light in your eyes and the difference in you when you two are together. I would not change that for anything and I was so proud of her and how much she Loved me. Well like everything else it came to horrible end when i found out I was not the Biological Father. She just never let me see her again after she was caught in this horrible lie. I don't mean to sound like a Jerk but I have had close people to me pass. I tell you for me this is ten times worse. When people die you know it's going to hurt but you also know their gone and you can never see them again. I feel as if I abandoned her though my Ex just took her and legally my hands are tied. I'm treating this as a death but the unfortunate part is that she will forget me but I wont! I also live not to far from them and am so fearful I will see her and I wont be able to touch her or hold her. If anyone has been through this please tell me how you got through this. I will always consider her my daughter and through therapy have no choice but to treat this like a Death.
Comments for
Deceit and Betrayal. My daughter isn't mine?
Robert, I am right there with you, divorced with a child that is not biologically mine. I completely understand the pain you feel when you say it is a death to you, even though nobody died, that it is even worse than loss to death. I was told by a father who had lost his daughter in death that he felt my loss was worse for the exact reason you mention, at least he knows his daughter is gone. I feel the same way as you, and in many ways I even feel I have died myself. We suffer the same sense of loss, though our child is still right around the corner, just out of reach. I am struggling to cope with daily life and found your post here while searching the internet for a support group or something to help. Your post is the first thing I have found that matches my situation. I wish, as you ask in your post, I could give you advice on dealing with this, but I'm am just as lost in the pain of it as you are. The only solace I can offer is the knowledge that you are not alone in this struggle, that other fathers are out there, losing their child to cheating and false paternity.
i understand by: a foster mom
Your daughter, is your daughter. I raised a little boy from four days till he was two and a half years old. Mom stayed off drugs six weeks, judge gave him back to her.
I lost MY son, and my son lost his mother. There is no end to the grief, all we can do is pray God help us through it.
These children will in the end suffer. The ones who rip them away are heartless monsters.
I agree with the other writer. You might have rights if on the birth certificate. I would check into it.
Fight till you can't fight anymore, I did. Then go on, never forgetting.
I pray your pain eases,
A mom
So horrible! by: Kim
Wow Robert I am just shocked. I also lost my husband in July of this year of a sudden heart attack like Pat. It is very painful but I have 2 beautiful kids to help comfort me and I comfort them. My kids are my whole world, they always have been. I can't even imagine what it would be like to know that they are near but I couldn't talk to them or hug them and say I love you. I think your right that I know I will never see my husband again but if I could some how I would do anything and everything to make it happen. Are you on the birth certificate? I would think if you are then you would be entitled to see her. I've heard of other cases where a guys name was on the birth certificate and then he found out later the kid wasn't his and he was still ordered to pay child support because his name was on the birth certificate. I would think it might work in your favor too. Please look into it and talk to someone legal. A lot of lawyers will give you a free consultation so at least do that and see where you stand. As a woman I just don't understand the games other women play on their exes minds and there own kids too. Women never used to be so evil the way some are these days. I will pray for you and I really hope things work out for you. Shame on your ex for doing this to you and she is also making her daughter suffer too:(( Good luck and if you want I would like you to let me know how things go. You can comment back on this page and I will see it. Take care, Kim
My daughter isn't mine by: Pat J
Don't give up so easily on your daughter. She, you say is not your biological daughter; yet you were married to her mother at the time of her birth, right? That makes you legally are her father. I would really check into that further. If you can't afford a lawyer, there are free legal services out there. You love her like your own and have every right to be a part of her life. I'm sure it will be a difficult step to take. I can only imagine. Just like you said, you didn't lose a loved one by death; well I , married 46 years, lost my husband of a massive heart attack in June of this year. No, I will never see him again in this life or feel his touch or hear his voice; but your DAUGHTER IS STILL HERE. Try to do what you can, to be a part of her life. Don't just give up, give it your best shot.
