delayed acceptance

Me and my dad had a troubled relationship, when I was young he broke his neck and developed an addiction to painkillers, it made me feel a lot of the time as if he loved the more than me but as i aged we became exceptionally close and I came to see how much he loved me and how much it hurt him to not be involved in my life as much he wanted. I still believe he died of a broken heart, but here I am nine months after his death and it just really hit me; my father is gone and he can never come back and my heart is broken I wish i could tell him i loved him so much, at least i have my prayers...

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Mar 05, 2013
delatyed acceptance
by: Doreen U.K.

My husband died 10 months ago of cancer. We were married 44yrs. I have 3 Adult children who lost a father that day. My husband could not spend the time he wanted with his children growing up as he had to work 6 days a week sometime 7 and away a lot from home due to his work as an exhibition carpenter which took him to other countries. When my husband was dying of cancer he would have loved to see his 2 eldest children but they were busy with their own lives. My husband felt the pain and loss of his children too late. My heart broke for him and his sadness. He was a good provider and a good husband and he lost his life being that good person. This is a sadness filled with injustice of those good people who die too soon and leave their families torn in two for the loss of them.
This is the worst part of loss. Never being able to ever again say "I love you." "Dad I will miss you when you are not here." "Dad I wish I could have you around forever because you mean so much to me and I still need you." These are the unspoken words that I guess many father's know deep down but don't get the chance to process this when they are ill. Then grief causes us guilt for not saying those things. All we can do is let them go because they can't mean anything now. All we can do is honour the memory of the one's we loved and lost. As a parent I can say that a father will always love his children even if he is not around to tell them. Your father did love you immensely and you can hold onto this love forever. It will comfort you in the grief times of pain and sorrow. One day you will move forward and you will be stronger from your grief.


Mar 04, 2013
Angel
by: Anonymous

Your Father is with you, his with you right now.His your Angel and his watching over you. I believe so strong in that, Sometimes when I'm feeling lonely or stuck in grief, I remember the good times I had, It's still sad but at that the same time I'm happy. You just have to believe. If you ignore beauty.you well soon find yourself without it But if you invest in beauty, it will remain with you all the days of your life. (Frank Lloyd Wright) I know your Dad loved you, but you can't imagine what he was going through the suffering he was going through, and maybe he wanted to do all the things family does, fishing, camping, go to your school plays. But he's with you. Get a journal and write to him, tell him your day, tell him how you feel, Tell him how much you miss him. Tell him that you Love him.

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