DEPRESSED

by GWIN
(MESA,AZ)

IN 2008 MY FATHER DIED OF CANCER , I CARED FOR HIM FOR NINE MONTHS AND HE DIED IN MY HOME. ONE YEAR LATER MY SISTER DIED LEAVING ME WITH HER 6 YEAR OLD SON. IN 2011 MY GRANDSON WHO I RAISED FROM 9 MOS DIED AT 16 , 17 DAYS BEFORE HIS 17 BIRTHDAY . IN 2011 MY MUM WAS VERY SICK CARED FOR HER SHE DIED IN JUNE 2012 . SEPT OF THIS YEAR MY NEPHEW WHOM I WAS CLOSE TO DIED AT 19 . THIS IS TOO MUCH .I HAVE FOUND THAT FRIENDS ARE FEW AND FAR NOW . I SEE LIFE AS THOUGH I AM LIVING IN A TUNNEL . LIFE SUCKS . I HATE BEING SUCH A SAD PERSON IN FRONT OF OTHERS BUT THAT'S HOW I FEEL SAD AND BAD .

Comments for DEPRESSED

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Oct 28, 2012
tunnel
by: Anonymous

thanks eeery one
its true i feel like im in a tunnel and theres no end to it

Oct 23, 2012
DEPRESSED
by: Doreen U.K.

Gwin I am sorry for your loss of Father, sister,grandson, mother, nephew. It is far too much loss to cope with in such a short time. I strongly recommend you to see a Grief Counsellor. Prioritise this with some URGENCY!!!
You greatly need the support, and also to grieve each loss. Otherwise you will be stuck in grief for a very long long time. This is far too much for you to cope with all alone. You also need the right people around you to support you in your grief.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 5 months ago, and I feel as if I am in a tunnell. I wake up from sleep and feel as if I am in a strange world and this didn't happen. It is rather like moving forward in time. It feels so strange and very uncomfortable. You may feel more alone now with people moving away from you thus leaving you feel more alone.
Don't worry if you feel Sad or Bad in front of people. Certain life experiences bring out the worst in us and I have had my moments also.
Just when you need friends and family they may abandon you leaving you feeling more ALONE. I am in the same place as you. We can only go on one day at a time till we feel able to branch out on our own and build a new life for ourselves with new people and life experiences.
It feels rather like a life sentence. Everything changes and having to move with those changes is not easy especially as we get older.
In life we will face new problems and keep going through this cycle of change and sorrow. It is not surprising if depression kicks in. Just do something about it. I let my depression go on for over 40 yrs. trying to cope with bringing up a family. When I eventually had counselling my whole world changed for the better. That was the best part of living. I now know that it is unwise to stay in an unhappy place if we don't need to. Counselling will give you back your life. I hope life does get better for you in time and that you build a new meaningful life in which you will find happiness.

Oct 23, 2012
its going to get better i promise
by: Anonymous

no words can describe how you must be feeling or make this any easier but i feel your pain i send you all my love and i want you to know there is hope you will smile again. those people you lost are pain free in a good place and would not want you to be weighed down by all this sorrow. Reflect on your beautifull memories togeather and cherish the special people you have in your life still and know that those who have crossed over arent really gone they are still around ,can still here you and still love you very much. try and see the good in everyday, much love x

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