Disneyland through tears

We used to take the kids to Disneyland for their Christmas presents. It was a way for the family to be together and I didn't have to do a lot of shopping for grown children. We have four and they have children.

My husband died in July so I thought I could do this one more time. Mainly because Christmas was so bad for me and I didn't want to think of buying presents. So we went this weekend.

I am probably the only person who ever cried through Disneyland.

The memories flooded in. Riding on his favorite ride, the Pirate ride. I so missed his arms around me and stealing a kiss in the dark. Just walking down Main Street at the end made me cry. He would have had his arms around me keeping me warm, instead I walked alone, hands in pockets, watching the other couples stay warm together.

How do you go on. I miss him so much. Everything I do brings back floods of memories and tears.