Disneyland through tears

We used to take the kids to Disneyland for their Christmas presents. It was a way for the family to be together and I didn't have to do a lot of shopping for grown children. We have four and they have children.

My husband died in July so I thought I could do this one more time. Mainly because Christmas was so bad for me and I didn't want to think of buying presents. So we went this weekend.

I am probably the only person who ever cried through Disneyland.

The memories flooded in. Riding on his favorite ride, the Pirate ride. I so missed his arms around me and stealing a kiss in the dark. Just walking down Main Street at the end made me cry. He would have had his arms around me keeping me warm, instead I walked alone, hands in pockets, watching the other couples stay warm together.

How do you go on. I miss him so much. Everything I do brings back floods of memories and tears.

Comments for Disneyland through tears

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Jan 21, 2011
so many reminders
by: Lyn Ann

You can't get away from the reminders. My husband Jim died in November, and my son and I went to Australia over christmas to see my family and get away. Even there, where there are few "together" memories of him - even there things would trigger memories.

and tonight I was looking for a recipe in the recipe card box, and came across the recipe he was famous for - his scottish shortbread. The recipe was handwritten, crossed out and rewritten, stained and smeared from so many loving batches of wonderful, melt-in-the-mouth cookies. I can't make these - even if I could I don't want to. Do I leave the card in there, to grieve next time I want to cook? Do I take it out so I don't have to see and be in pain? And if I remove it, where do I put it? I don't know. So I just put it back where I found it. Maybe the next time the pain will be less. maybe there will come a time when there will be no pain at all.

Jan 21, 2011
by: Cindy

Oh, how I know your feeling. I go places and people have their spouses with them I feel so alone. I lost my husband two months ago after being married for almost 35 years. I am so lost in this world and so hard to go on without him. We did everything together and know life will never be the same without the love of my life. I loved him with all my heart and he would tell me everyday how very much he loved me and how beautiful I was. Oh, how I miss hearing all those things... my heart is just broken. This is a dark and lonely journey we have to go on our own. Just not fair! I miss the love of my life so very much and I know so much how you feel. I miss his arms around me too...

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