Does the pain ever stop?

I lost my best friend and husband of 24 years, twice. We met in high school, married a short time later and he was my driving force to life. We had two beautiful children together and built a life of love and laughter. As we grew and life pressures became greater, Jim began drinking. He was injured during a job related prison riot and became engulfed with chronic pain.

The drugs became more frequent, chased by the alcohol, until Christmas 2006, when he placed a revolver to his head in front of our teens. Not able to deal with this anymore, he was removed from our home. For the next two years, we supported rehab, successes, failures, tears, anger, love and more tears. In February Jim was found dead in his apartment, a massive stroke claimed his life. His alcohol level was 2.42 at the time if his autopsy. His parents have blamed me due to the divorce, and have estranged themselves from my children.

Its been two years, I miss my best friend, my inner soul. I am angry and sad for my children that do not have a dad in their lives, especially my daughter who is graduating high school in a year. I hate Valentines Day, we became engaged 28 years ago on that day. I just function day to day, the kids, the job, the house, but I just cannot go one day without moving on. I miss him so much...