Domino effect

by Lara

It all started in 2006 when my grandmother lost her battle with breast cancer and lymphoma. She was on hospice and we all watched her take her last breath. I was very close with my grandmother, and at the time lived right across the street from her. It was a hard loss for me and also my mother too. I could tell my mother was having an especially hard time with this and was very depressed. In 2010 my mother died, her kidneys just shut down. I had just talked to her the night before and had been trying to call her all day. I finally received a phone call around 3:30 pm telling me she had passed away right after 9 am that morning. This was a very hard loss for me and a pain that I just can't describe. I feel lost and empty without her still. She was my best friend. Almost exactly a year after my mom dying, my great grandmother (my moms grandmother) died, she was pretty old and had been through a lot in her life, she lost two of her children and her granddaughter. And only a month after my great grandmother dying, my great uncle (her son) died.
Then just last year my sister was murdered by her daughters father, while her daughter was there. This has been so hard, it is different when someone is murdered. You hurt just the same but you can't ever move on when you feel victimized over and over again by court dates and meetings etc. it seems to never end.
My cousin was also murdered January of this year!
I almost feel like our family has a curse.
I call it a domino effect because I honestly feel if my grandmother wouldn't have died, neither would my mother or sister especially just due to all the circumstances.
I do know that there is a void I feel every single day, and time does not heal. You just learn to live with the pain which can be debilitating.
I pray for everyone who has lost loved ones. I know it is so hard, and you can only take it one day at a time. But take comfort in knowing they're always with us and that one day we will be able to meet with our loved ones again!

Comments for Domino effect

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Mar 20, 2014
Thank you
by: Lara

Thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry for your losses as well! I will be praying for you! I agree God is in control!
Thank you so much for taking the time out to comment, your words were helpful.
I pray that you can find peace with the loss of your mother and husband.
God Bless you! <3

Mar 20, 2014
Domino effect
by: Doreen UK

Lara I am so sorry for all the loss of your family members. Especially your Mom. sister, and cousin who were murdered. When a Homicide takes place it is one of the hardest grief's to recover from. You may benefit from seeing a counsellor who may help you develop skills and strategies for coping with this type of bereavement.
I lost my mother 11 years ago today. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 22 months ago and this loss was my very worst. I still some days can't believe he has gone. He worked away from home much of the year for 47 years and I got used to him being away. But this stretch of time is eternal and I can't help but process this differently. I used to look forward to him coming home and would cook, and bake and make his home time special. Now I lost this forever. There is nothing to look forward to in my retirement. I accepted him having to work away for those 47yrs. knowing when he retired we would have this time to look forward to. He died 11 months into retirement and his quality of life was such that he was dying of cancer and very weak and frail. I feel cheated out of our time together. Life doesn't give us what we need. It gives us the opposite. Much more reason for you to heal from your loss and build your life where you will have special times with the special people left in your life. Usually with suicides or murders a family may have a curse on them. Best way to deal with this is to seek out Church support and Prayer. Not something one can deal with in isolation. My nieces put a curse on our home so I would have endless problems with repairs and expense and run out of money. This is happening at a frightening rate. We access prayers online for curses and we send them back and we are living a little better. God is more powerful and in control. With God at the helm of one's life we can claim the promise that "NO WEAPON FORMED AGAINST YOU CAN PROSPER."

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