It all started in 2006 when my grandmother lost her battle with breast cancer and lymphoma. She was on hospice and we all watched her take her last breath. I was very close with my grandmother, and at the time lived right across the street from her. It was a hard loss for me and also my mother too. I could tell my mother was having an especially hard time with this and was very depressed. In 2010 my mother died, her kidneys just shut down. I had just talked to her the night before and had been trying to call her all day. I finally received a phone call around 3:30 pm telling me she had passed away right after 9 am that morning. This was a very hard loss for me and a pain that I just can't describe. I feel lost and empty without her still. She was my best friend. Almost exactly a year after my mom dying, my great grandmother (my moms grandmother) died, she was pretty old and had been through a lot in her life, she lost two of her children and her granddaughter. And only a month after my great grandmother dying, my great uncle (her son) died.
Then just last year my sister was murdered by her daughters father, while her daughter was there. This has been so hard, it is different when someone is murdered. You hurt just the same but you can't ever move on when you feel victimized over and over again by court dates and meetings etc. it seems to never end.
My cousin was also murdered January of this year!
I almost feel like our family has a curse.
I call it a domino effect because I honestly feel if my grandmother wouldn't have died, neither would my mother or sister especially just due to all the circumstances.
I do know that there is a void I feel every single day, and time does not heal. You just learn to live with the pain which can be debilitating.
I pray for everyone who has lost loved ones. I know it is so hard, and you can only take it one day at a time. But take comfort in knowing they're always with us and that one day we will be able to meet with our loved ones again!