Don't be Fooled by My Smile
by Judith in California
Jan 2, 2012, another year to start things anew but my heart is with my husband who passed in 2010. It's where my heart was in 2011 and will be there no matter what year it is I believe. My smile hides the heartbreak and pain of such a loss. My smile hides the sadness My smile hides the desperation of needing him back, needing US back. My smiles lies and no one knows. Each time I say "i'm okay" is a lie for I am so lonely and in need of hugs and attention my husband used to give me. I'm a fake when I say I want to meet someone because I know it's Chuck I'm looking for and will never find again. I'm still trying to fake it in hopes it will become my new normal. I lie when my sisters ask how're you doing because they really don't want to hear how truly heartbroken I am for fear they think me weak. They don't know how strong you have to be to fake this. I hope they never have to experience it. I still want him back.
I love you Chuck! Always have , Always will.