DONT FORGET HIM

by Steffy
(Phoenix, Arizona)

I look at everyone live their lives and im disgusted.
His family, my family continue their days like normal.

I sit around all day and cry, I feel like dying but I just had our first child. He is 3 weeks old, Beautiful looks just like his dad but all I want it to disappear, to never wake up. Im a mother now and i cant enjoy it.

Cody was killed almost 3 months ago, I replay the night in my head, reply our last conversations. I miss him. Hes missed out on his baby boys birth, Cody wanted to be a daddy. He would have been the greatest dad.

I look at everyone around me, everyone who loved him and most of them seem fine, they have accepted what happened.

I cant, I beg everyone to not forget. Cody was so special to so many, Only 21, so much life to live.
DONT FORGET HIM I beg my brothers who loved him dont forget him he was my husband my best friend, He was full of life he was beautiful.

I dont want everyone to let him go, not yet., its too soon everything is still so fresh.

How can people heal so soon? Cody was such a happy person loved music and video games. He was funny and smart, he lived he exsisted, he was real !

Comments for DONT FORGET HIM

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Apr 10, 2012
Don't forget your Child
by: Anonymous

Steffy. please don't limit yourself with the word "can't". You have to be a mother to your baby because he needs you you can grieve and be a mother at the same time. Everyone else is missing him in their own way. It's easier for them because he wasn't their mate. It is a different type of grief for them because they didn't have a child with him they didn't make a promise of love in marriage with him.
You will grieve your way but you must not ignore your child., Cody's child. He would not want you to do that and he would be angry if you did. Please get help if you truly will not be able to be a mother to your child. My heart goes out to you but a baby is innocent of anything and doesn't deserve to be cast aside for anything. You should hold him close and love him and let him know he is safe and cared for. You can and will grieve but it is not going to bring Cody back. You have a baby that needs love and assurance he is okay and it's your responsibility to provide that no matter what. Don't make that child feel as if there is something wrong with him.

God bless you and give you strength at this horrible time.

Apr 10, 2012
Time
by: Zoe

Oh Sugar
The most offensive part of grief for me was when everyone started living their lives
How could they live while he was dead
It was making my pain raw
What I have learned at two years is that our time no longer moves like everyone else. They move forward we are forever anchored in the moment of their death
You will get asked how long will you grieve
My answer the rest of my life
You have undergone two defining changes the death of Cody and the birth of your son
They are not getting over it, their loss is different than yours
I remember when it hurt to breathe the pain was so bad
I cannot tell you when but the pain will become more endurable
I also know that he is proud of you and his son. You have a tangible proof of your love.
I know it does not help to hear that we understand but know we are here with you
And remember
One breath one step one day at a time

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