Don't Talk Please..Just Listen..
I am here today writing once again. I am so very grateful to have found this wonderful site, it has truly been a blessing to me. I was thinking to myself how sad it is that I am finding comfort from people who have suffered such tragic losses. I wish None of us were here but we are..and I thank all of you for your kind and caring words. The loss of a child- that is something that can bring together people who may have never had anything in common. Because death has no particular party, race, social groups or anything from which it chooses. We are all here because of our world being shattered by a loss of such magnitude that only 'we' can understand. I wrote a blog a few days ago and a sweet woman by the name of Elaine commented on it. Her words hit home for me. She wrote that she had just lost her son a couple months ago in an accident. Since that time she has been functioning but some days are not as good. She mentioned that she wants to be able to just 'grieve' in her own way and time. That some people have given her advice that she found rude. She wanted to be able to talk about her beloved son without people questioning her. I think that was what really got me after I lost my daughter. Some people were very supportive and respected my space but there were some that I also felt like slapping. My daughters accident was in the local paper and when I returned to work there were whispers of what had happened. I was angry and hurt. I couldn't believe that some people were so callous in their behavior. They were making judgment calls from an article that was sent to print before my daughter was even recovered from the accident. The reporter tried to retract the incorrect info. in an article the next day but some people are idiots!! The loss of our children as we All know goes beyond Any words that we could even begin to write. I needed and wanted to talk about my daughter and her death but it made everyone around me uncomfortable. It was like they all wanted me to Not think about it. I wanted to Scream and say "Do you not understand my loss!!! She was my child!! Not the family pet!!" I am grateful for my very best friend, because she did allow me to just talk and she Listened. She did not offer advice or tell me to stop-she was there. Death is an awkward and uncomfortable- mostly painful for all of us. I think maybe people are afraid that we are looking for magic words or a way to end our pain..when all we really want, is for them to just listen. It can be a lonely place after time goes by. I found myself feeling isolated. Like I had this rare disease that no one else had and I had to find a way to deal with it alone. I am here now over two yr's since my beautiful girl died. I know life will never be the same but being able to come here has definitely been a comfort. God Bless You All.