Double Relationship Loss


(Edmonton, AB Canada)

Long story short, my lover whom I had lived with and shared a life with for 1.5 years had given me an ultimatum of acknowledging that I was his girlfriend. I answered yes. Unfortunately, 1-2 weeks later he changed his mind. He moved out and soon after he and my cousin (who mentioned that I was more than a sister to her) are dating. They had hid this for close to 3 months before getting caught. Apparently, my lover needed to build "courage" to tell me.

They started "dating" 2 weeks after he moved out.

I was really hurt by both of them; mostly by him. I'm angry, humiliated, livid, etc., etc.

My relation with my cousin (who had lived with me & my family prior for 3 years as well) will never be the same because it WAS like we were sisters. So a lost of a relation of a relative.

My relation with this lover - although I've known him over 8 years - has created distrust. I don't know what kind of a man he is any longer. I question his integrity and his intensions while he was with me. Although my cousin is about 10 years younger than both of us - his characteristic in this situation just baffles me.

So, yes, I'm going through the emotions - didn't know how much this would affect me because it is just a boy. But it affected me so much that I've been feeling nausea, anxiety, etc., etc. and am at a complete lost. I'm crying for no reason now. I acted like a crazy woman trying to negotiate with him - it's really petty. Anger, disbelief.

I'm just broken to the point I don't have words to describe.

Comments for Double Relationship Loss

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Dec 08, 2012
Double Relationship Loss
by: Doreen U.K.

I am sorry for your loss of your relationship with your lover of 1.5yrs. and also for the loss of relationship with your cousin. There is no excuse. Your cousin should have thought through carefully whether her relationship with you was important and worth saving. Your lover was careless and tactless, and a downright callous person with no Integrity to do this to you. To actually carry on a relationship for 3 months with your cousin behind your back is BETRAYAL.
You will have to go through the motions of grief loss like a death. Do not let this man back into your life even if he comes back to you at a later date.
Try and see a grief counsellor for a couple of sessions to get this man out of your hair and the pain out of your heart. Then you will see clearly to go on with your life and find another man who will respect and love you the way you deserve and need. Because I am mature in years I can tell you that you will recover with support. You will go on in life to find happiness again. The longer two people have been together is more painfull to split up and the wound with be more painfull. It hurts badly when you love someone and they don't love you in the way you want or need. Self respect and RESPECT is very important in any relationship. If these ingredients are missing a relationship won't work. Your lover did not respect you. This has been lost and you might as well walk away with dignity. If anything like this ever happened again. See a counsellor and work out your feelings so you won't attract the wrong man, you will also have a better chance at making any future relationship work. You will hurt for a long time but you will recover and become a stronger person.

Dec 07, 2012
Are you serious move on!
by: yolanda

How bad is it really, look at yourself in the mirror what is your worth! Move on, life is so short! I lost my daughter in her sleep 3 months ago she was 30 full of life, just beautiful, I taught her to be strong as a woman, know your direction and don't let anyone waste your time in bringing you down.. When a men sees strength in a woman they just adore and respect, but a men sees weakness in a woman they just use and disrespect and spit you out, which one you want to be? Get over it, because God made you worthy, so don't mess with God creation and that is you! MOVE ON AND BE HAPPY!

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