Dumbfounded

by Michele H.
(Landisville, PA USA)

My husband of almost 15 years told me last week that he wants to leave, he is planning on leaving, and that he doesn't think we are "compatible." The shock of it has worn off and I'm angry with him. He says he wants to remain friends but he wasn't on planning on telling me until his vacation time in September. That of course is a good 8 weeks away and it's right around my birthday.

I will not be in this alone. I have two beautiful children ages 6 and 11. What are they going to think when they are told he is leaving. We are no longer sharing a bedroom. I couldn't have him there after he told me this. All that he has said to the kids is that he is now sleeping downstairs.

He wants to stay until finances are straightened out so "we" don't have to declare bankruptcy or sell the house. He doesn't want me to lose the house and he isn't planning on taking any of the furniture. How generous of him. He doesn't want to go for counseling or try to work on what the problem is. He has been vague about this.

Is there someone else? He tells me "no" but I'm starting to suspect it. He came to this decision on his own. I think that hurts the most. That he was so self-centered to not consider my thoughts, feelings, or dreams for the future. I think I might be in a revolving door for a while until I know when he will actually be moving out.

I still love him and probably will always. He is the man I chose to spend my life with, to have children and raise a family with, and to share my life with. He doesn't see the hurt that he is causing or the shattering of my dreams.