Dying to live
My 33 yr marriage was imperfect like many are. I lost my spouse 18mths ago. He left me with our drug addicted son. We had 2 yrs to say goodbye before he died with colon cancer. Still I was lost for many months without direction. During our marriage I had allowed myself to be verbally abused by my spouse, my son and his family. I stayed because that is what we are supposed to do. I stayed for my son who does not appreciate that. Abuse can be comfortable, familiar and accepting. Today I understand more about living and dying and about being submissive to the point of destruction. So, am I sorry for my life? No, I am thankful that I was lucky enough to live thru it and be able to share the victory of living. I know what I will and won't tolerate in a relationship. There is freedom there, there is strength. My faith has never left me although I lost it at times, we r imperfect people living in an imperfect world. I want to live before I know I am dying. That is the best testimony for life, to just live. God is good and he never left me. He whispered in my ear that I could make it thru the grief and heartache. He tells me that I am safe from my son and gave me the tools to make that happen. He put people in my path to help me understand our purpose and my place in this world. There is a season for our lives, for our loves and for our existence. If u have ever seen someone die and felt helpless, believe that they are in a better place and know that there is a place for us here until we see them again. Don't wait until you are dying to live, make your time here fruitful. Because we know what death is then we must also learn to understand what it means to live without fear. God Bless!