Dylan, my only, my love, and my life.

by Cynthia L. Graham
(Newport News, Virginia)

My Dylan was 27 years old when he died March 21st, 2011. The shock of his passing still hasn't left me. One day, my son was happy and healthy, and three days later I'm watching him die from a ruptured appendix. He was horribly misdiagnosed by the clinic where I took him, and then sent home where he ruptured and subsequently died. It has all been like a nightmare that I can't awaken from. People just don't die this way anymore (one in a million)!!! I just keep asking myself why my beautiful only child; what did I do to deserve such a fate. Dylan was so wonderful, and I am not idealizing my son, he truly was. He was kind, gentle, generous, funny, and so smart. Above all he was my friend, and he loved me. Dylan was a late bloomer in life, because he was an only child and raised by a single parent. He never experienced many things that a man his age would typically know; the love of a woman, children, a career, but I knew that one day he would come out of his shell. He was starting to, and oh I was so proud that he was finally becoming all that I knew he could be! My purpose in writing here is to let the world know what a rare and exquisite soul has left us. He was an innocent but that is what made him so well loved by all who knew him. I could become so bitter, but I would not honor my son's life by doing so. Instead I am bravely reaching out to conquer this raging grief by taking a hold of God's hand. He has led me to my support group, where I find the love I so desperately need. I hurt immeasurably sometimes, and there will always be a chasm that I cannot cross over, but turning my grief into remembrance is the key to my eventual peace. Pray for me.

Comments for Dylan, my only, my love, and my life.

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Aug 13, 2011
Oh no, not your only child
by: Lucy

Yes, it happens. It's happened to you, it's happened to me. The loss is beyond words, beyond what time can heal. The wound is so deep and so hard to bear. I understand your pain. I am because Jesus is. That's all that keeps me going. ((((HUGS)))

Aug 13, 2011
So unnecessary
by: Anonymous

Dear Cynthia, I am saddened to hear about the loss of Dylan while under poor medical care. How awful his sudden death must be for your family and I hold you up in prayer. If you care to write me at my ministry, impossiblejoy@yahoo.com, we can share further. This ministry came about after my son chose to end his life. So I know how all-consuming the pain is and only God can reach down, pick you up and hold you while you weep. Allow Him and others here to take this grief journey with you. We all know how terrible it is to lose a priceless child. And you, like God, lost your only son. So God understands. Blessings, GT.

Aug 09, 2011
by: Anonymous

Cynthia....sending prayers for you and the loss of your sweet Dylan. In about one hour it will be one year since my sweet son Dimitri, died of leukemia. He was 23 and like your Dylan he had been happy and healthy and enjoying life to the fullest. Like your Dylan he was just coming into his manhood and I could begin to see the most beautiful person emerging from the sweet boy he had been. I'm glad you have a support group. I know my groups help me so much. I went to my first Compassionate Friends meeting three weeks after D died and I thank God they have been there for me. Hang in there and be gentle on yourself....it is still so fresh for you.
Shirley in California

Aug 09, 2011
I don't normally do this
by: Zoe

I am a widow I know what is is to have the only light in your life ripped from you.
And I know there is nothing in the universe that will replace your child
But I also work in law and you are right people do not die like that anymore
You need to find a good malpractice lawyer
If they don't pay for your son they will do nothing to change their policies so that it won't happen again
It will be the hardest thing you ever do
I cannot fathom the loss of a child we are not supposed to outlive our children
Especially the gentle souls
One step one breath one day at a time

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