"Eleven Weeks Without You"
Today is eleven weeks without my heart, my life, my soulmate. Bobby passed away on 12/9/10 from complications from pancreatitis. Watching him pass from this world & leaving me was the hardest thing I have ever gone through. He was only 43 years old and lived every day of his life to the fullest. His smile and the sparkle in his eyes never failed to brighten everyone's day. For one so young, he was so talented & knew how to do everything (cook, carpenter work, electrical, etc.); he could do it all. His love for life, family, and numerous friends was amazing. He was the type of person you just loved being around. He showed me what true happiness felt like and never failed to show me every day how much he loved me. My second husband had died in an automobile accident in 2005. Bobby and I married in 2007. We bought a house together and had so much fun having parties on the holidays or just because we wanted to have one so all the family & friends could get together. We thought we had all the time in the world to be together. We were planning on growing old together and being one of those couples who have been married for 40 or 50 years still holding hands more in love than ever. We had more happiness in the 3-1/2 years we had together than some people ever have in their lives. Now I feel like I am a walking zombie going through the motions of what is suppose to be life. People keep telling me that I will find love again since I'm only 46. I don't want anyone else but my Bobby. My family tell me how strong I am to have been widowed twice in 5-1/2 years. I am NOT strong. I just want to be with him. I feel such anger at life, God, the doctors, - everything and everyone that had anything to do with his being taken away from me. It isn't getting any easier; all I feel like doing is being at our home - crying,remembering all the wonderful times we had together, and wishing I was with him. As a song says, it only hurts when I breathe. Bobby, I miss you and will love you always & forever.