E-mail from Jim's Daughter Barbara and my repsonse to her

by Janet
(Dallas, Tx,)

Sorry for all of you because none of you ever got to know who your Dad really was or the pain that he suffered. You are just beginning. I am sorry that you have to go through it but he did for more years than I want to remember. Sorry also that you and Dawna and JW all feel that way No phone calls to see how I am doing and no e-mails or FB messages to say how are you doing. I am sorry but I do need this and will not accept this. Believe me until you are where I am u will never understand the pain. I hate to break everyones heart but the only child he knew was my son "Bud" . You even said you did not recognize Jim. I do not believe she would either and JW has never commented nor has Spring. I know where my friends are and they are definitely not here in the so called "good old USA". Sorry but I will spend the rest of my life as soon as I can in a third world country that actually takes care of family/friends. We become family there and it is nothing like it is here. Your dad agonized over the fact that he did not feel like he was a good father to all of you. I will tell you and you can pass this on to JW and Dawna Lee that he did love all of you. If you cannot share that with Dawna then I m sorry for her loss and the father none of you ever got to really know. By the way, I still have Dakoto's pciture when she was ten months old sitting where I can see it every day, Dawna's picture is on the left hand side and Bud's is on the right hand side of Jim's remains. She is family even though she wants nothing to do with Jim but she is sill his daughter and I will always honor that. She can think what she may and that is her decision not mine. If I had a picture of you and JW when you were younger they would be sitting on top of his remains. Love to all of you but I cannot dwell with the fact that none of your tried to contact or ur father. Life is not fair but trust me you can be. Enjoy your children and the happiness that they bring to you. I am sorry for my ranting and raving but I felt like it needed to be said not so much to you but for Dawna Lee. One thing to remember he "Always loved all of you unconditionally." I am sorry that the only child he really got to know was my son. I am sorry that you Barbara, JW and Dawna never got to know who your Dad really was even in his darkest days. None of you would have recognized the man I married and loved for some 25 plus years.

"Your life was a blessing, your memory a treasure, you are loved beyond words, and missed beyond measure". I love you sweetheart and I am going to bed.

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