by Emily
(Birmingham )

I'v been with my partner for 11 years but for last year he has been cheating on me with a friend of mine who I let stay at my house for about six months everyone told me to watch them but I never wanted to believe that he would do something like this to me. I am totally lost without this person in my life we have three children together two with special needs so we need to stay in touch he has been staying with me give days a week then with her two days I really don't know what to do my health has struggled a lot because of this I don't know what to do

Comments for Emily

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Oct 01, 2014
by: Doreen UK

Emily this is the sad part of being with a partner who is not pulling his weight and looking after the needs of his children. Has he been supportive to you with his children? Financially, and emotionally, and in a practical way by nurturing them and meeting their needs? If not you need to put measures in place by contacting Social Services for support in managing since you have 2 children with special needs and you need to be well supported. You may be put in the right direction. You cannot handle everything yourself otherwise you will suffer burnout.
For now I am sorry to say you have to put your feelings on the back burner and concentrate on the needs of the children which will be paramount at this time. You can also seek counselling on a sliding scale from many charities who are still funded and can offer you this kind of support. I did voluntary work for a counselling service who gave counselling on a sliding scale. MIND is still in operation and could offer you the support you need. There may be a waiting list. But don't suffer alone. I have not only done the counselling but I have given back 8yrs in voluntary work and the best years of my life. I learned a lot and was supported well when I needed this. You can also be put in touch with the right people to offer you the support you need.
Start building yourself up emotionally by doing as many good things for yourself each day. I did this and I got my self esteem back. You need to stay FOCUSED and strong for the children. Meeting the needs of your children will help you move forward if you also have good support in place here. Don't look at the enormous burden ahead of you doing this alone. reach out for help. You don't have to do all this work of child rearing alone. You will face many challenges, but you will come through them all and stand tall.
I can't understand a man who could put someone before his partner and children. But sadly this is happening more and more as people become selfish and self centered. Don't give up hope especially when your back is against the wall and you don't know which way to turn. You will need emotional, financial, and practical support. Once these measures are in place your world will feel less daunting. Please write back if you need to.

Aug 20, 2014
Feel so Alone
by: Josie

I feel for you especially for your children their father would rather be with this so called friend that you were helping what a piece of crap. Both of them deserve each other you are a strong woman and you need to stand up for your rights. Please go speak with an attorney or legal aid to see what your options are get everything you can financially for you and your kids. Why would you lower yourself to feel he's the only one. He had proven to you how much he loves you by messing around in your own home! It's not going to be.easy but at least you don't have to be wondering what he's up to you will never be the same. I will be praying for the Lord to guide you to make the best decision for you and your children. God bless and take care.

Aug 19, 2014
Change your Life
by: Anonymous

Dear Emily, how can you feel lost without a cheating man in your life? You and he have children to care for but that doesn't mean you have to derade yourself and let him stay with you and be with the other woamn too. You are teaching him how to treat you. And your children need to know this is not acceptable behavior in any way. Please protect your children . They live what they learn and see. If you have a boy then he will soon leran how to disrespect women. If you have a girl then she will think her self worth is letting a man walk all over her.

As for you, get your self esteem off the floor and stand up for yourself and get a divorce and never let a man treat you in anyway other than with respect and dignity and teach your kids the same thing.

You are in control of you and what your and your childrens life will be like. god bless you as you learn to move on and forward to better.

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