Emma

by Darrell
(Angleton, Texas.. United States)

I remember my phone rang at 3:00a.m on the morn of 10-16-2010. I saw it was my son, but I figured I would just talk to him in the morn so I didnt answer. The phone rang twice more & on the third call I picked up the phone to scold my son for calling so late. You see whenever my sons can't sleep or have a problem, no matter the time they call me, their father. His words were " dad, Emma has been in a car accident & her friends say she isn't breathing" I tried to calm him down & told him that I'm sure it wil be ok. I got up & got dressed & my cousin came by to give me the news. My wife & I rushed to Houston, which is an hour away to the hospital to see what in the world is going on. For sure my family must be suffering a mass dillusion because my baby girl is fine. When we turned on the road that the hospital was on, I told my wife to pull over. I got very sick, dizzy, & starting vomiting. I knew then that my 20yr old beautiful baby girl was gone. Emma & some friends were on their way home & their car broke down in the middle of the interstate & someone hit them from behind. There were 4 girls in the car & my baby didn't make it. I stayed angry with God for over a year. That is a problem for me because I am a Christian & when my faith was truly tested I stopped talking to God. I even tried to overdose on pills, but I woke up the next morning to my dismay. That made me even angrier with God. Was he punishing me for something? He took my child, but he wouldn't let me leave. I now understand that I have other children & two grandchildren that need me here. My wife , who is emma's step mom has been married to me for 17yrs so leaving her alone would be so selfish. My 8yr old son asked me on Christmas morn "is Jesus going to let Emma come home for Christmas?" That broke my heart. I'm really just going through the motions of life. I feel like I'm in an abyss & there is no way out. I'm starting to go back to church & talk to God again. Hopefully I can find some peace, some remnants of my old life

Comments for Emma

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Oct 01, 2012
~ 3 A.M. Phone Call~
by: Rosemary

I also got that 3 a.m. call on July 16, 2012, my daughter Claire's 30th birthday and also, our wedding anniversary. Her boyfriend called to let us know she was hit by a car and flew 50 feet. Later, the surgeon called and told me various procedures had been done in surgery and that she had gone into cardiac arrest. Still in total denial, I asked him if he was able to pull her out of the arrest and he told me she was gone. (this can be googled "Claire Rose Santa Monica hit and run")

It has been the worst event of my life - endless torture. I got angry at God... I've had many of the same emotions described by others. A person has no idea what it's like to lose a child unless it happens to them... NO IDEA. I feel like my life is totally ruined even tho I have a beautiful family, other children and so much to live for. There are so many questions and no answers. I feel totally alone.
I am beginning to share my story in hopes of letting others know that there are many of us in similar circumstances. I feel closer to most of you on these sites than my good friends who simply cannot relate.
My prayers go out to you. I pray you can hear from God is some tangible way and find relief and comfort. I pray you can help others in your loss.
Love,
rosemary

Jul 16, 2012
Why do these things happen at 3 a.m.?
by: Samantha

3 a.m. is when I got the news, too. My mother-in-law always answered a late-night phonecall with the words, "What's wrong?" and we used to tease her. "Why should anything be wrong?" we'd ask. But she was wise, had been through it, lost her brother and her daughter, and to her a late-night call was terrifying, because she feared it was another death announcement.

Of course, I know it can happen at any hour of the day, and does, but when you talked about the phone ringing at 3 a.m., Darrell, it brought it all back to me. My daughter was 20, and like you, I couldn't believe she could possibly be dead. And you called her your "baby girl." When my daughter was killed, I could think of her only as "my baby." How horrible it is to lose what we love so much, our child, no matter how old. You'll be amazed to hear how many of us there are, out here, who have been through it. I send my prayers for your comfort, and for Emma's eternal peace.

Jul 13, 2012
Emma 20yrs.
by: Doreen U.K.

Darrell I am sorry for your loss of your daughter Emma. Darrell this is every parents worst nightmare, that when their children start driving they will always be safe and never die in a road traffic accident. Road traffic accidents are happening all the time. We usually ask God for travelling mercies. This allows God in to our lives to protect us. I am sorry that your daughter did not get to live her life. I guess this is the hardest part of living for a parent.
When I lost my husband 8 weeks ago from cancer, I feel so angry. I don't want to be angry with God but I still am. This too is part of the grief. We know we are going to die. But when it comes the feelings are so painfull it is unbearable. I also feel as if I am in an abyss. Can't get out and left to suffer. This I feel is why I feel so angry with God. For all of us it is human nature to see God as our Protector and rescuer. If this does not happen then it is natural to feel let down and angry. One is never prepared to lose a child in death. I told God. Oh!! Please don't ever put me to the test. I know I would fail. WE worry over our children when they are young and growing up. We will never stop worrying about them even at an age when we have to let them go and live in the Adult world. Being a Christian we have the hope of Eternal Life. This is not our home but whilst we are passing through we at least want life to be happy and safe. Death is the last enemy that will be destroyed. Never to rise again. If this was all there was to life we would of all men be most miserable. We have to keep HOPE alive in our hearts. When we lose our HOPE we have nothing left to live for. This is what keeps us going. I am glad you have found your way back to church and that you are getting back into normal life. You will still grieve in stages. But you will have your FAITH to carry you through. I hope the days, weeks, and months ahead will be easier in your grief journey. May you be comforted by your family and church family and that you will be supported well. This does make a difference. Best wishes.

Jul 12, 2012
I understand
by: Anonymous

I am so terribly sorry that you lost your lovely Emma. I too lost my daughter (4 months ago). I can't tell you that it will get better because it certainly hasn't for me, but many people on this wonderful site will tell you that the acute devastation does ease up.
In the interim I completely understand your feelings of being half alive and just living for others. I pray that you will will find peace in some way if for no other reason than Emma would not want you to feel this way.

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