Everyday that passes I miss my Jamie Michael Boudreau !
by Jessica Peters
(West Frankfort )
Jamie and Jess
The 8th of this month makes 5 months since Jamie Michael. has been gone. Each day that passes I miss him more. I still wait for him to walk threw the door. Or when the phone rings I catch myself thinking he s gonna be in the other end. Or Im gonna wake up and this is all gonna be just a nightmare. Ill never know when were gonna get married. Ill never know w mny kids we are gonna have. I ll never get to see are grandchildren . I. will
never get to sit in my rocking chair beside him and rock on the front porch when were old and gray. I will never get to kiss him again. I will never get to hug him. I can't hear his voice besides for a voice mail or on a tape. I can't touch him. I can't see him. I can't understand why hehad to go. Why I have to hurt. Now I know how he hurt from the loss of his mother a year and half before. I know now he is no longer in pain. I know he s with her and gets to see his little girl everyday unlike before. But instead Im the one that's hurting without him. Why? I MISS HIM! I WANT HIM! MY HEART ACHES FOR HIM! I cry and cry and cry. I. don't see why I had to loose the man I love.What did I do to deserve this. I wish I could just go back and change things. Or I just wish I could have him back. They say it gets easier. Well there wrong its got harder. I don't want to get out of bed. I don't want to keep going. I don't want to image myself without him anymore. I don't wAnt any of it to change. But it all ready. has and I don't wAnt it too. Its suppose to be Jamie and Jess not just Jess. Everyday it just another day closer to him but how do I keep going? I feel lost, alone,scared, robbed,angry,sad,confused. I just know this isn't fair and I WANT my Jamie Michael back. I don't and never Will understand why I got to fall in love for the first time and he was taken from me so soon!