Everything has slowly stopped ,

I lost my mother 5 years ago to cancer I am one of 8 children and she loved us all unconditionally and I know we all say it but she really was the most incredible person .

She was so full of energy she needed to be with nine mouths to feed but never complained just got everything done with a sing and a dance .

Her illness really took a hold of her she had her lymph gland removed which caused her arm to swell up to an alarming size , the cancer took to her legs , brain and chest and it was so difficult seeing this upbeat happy woman being beat by it , it was awful I couldn't,t look at her when she was this ill I found it hard to speak to her because it was so upsetting seeing her like this I really hope she knew that

I havnt realised but depression has slowly crept in and my life has stopped ... I,ve lost all drive , I have no money my amazing fiancé is leaving me , I was oblivious to all this just keeping all my emotions locked away

If my mum knew I was like this she would kick me into shape tell me to " book up !" and would keep on at me until I did ... But she's not here and it's up to to me to simply man up and get my **** back together , then I know I would make her proud .

So if your feeling down and finding it hard just think of your mum looking at you ... It's the last think she,d want ... Get it together , get help , make your mum proud , make yourself proud it,ll feel incredible !

Comments for Everything has slowly stopped ,

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Jan 07, 2013
Everything has slowly stopped
by: Doreen U.K.

Moms LOVE. and are giving of themselves all the time. This is what they do. They don't want recognition for what they do. I think all moms want is RESPECT. You all seem to have the highest regard AND RESPECT for your mom and did her proud.
I think you are being too hard on yourself. Give yourself PERMISSION to be HURT, DEPRESSED, ANGRY, SAD, UNHAPPY, whatever. Your mom would not expect you to do anything that was unreasonable. Your mom would feel the same way if she lost one of her 8 children. GRIEF is hard work. Grief is painful. Grief consumes us. Some of us need outside support to cope with it. There is no SHAME in that. I am sorry for your loss of your mom to cancer and also for your loss of fiancé. You didn't cause your depression. Circumstances caused this and I am sure you are trying as best as you can to handle things. But if you try too hard to put on a brave front you will make things worse for yourself. Just be yourself and allow yourself to grieve your losses. You may benefit from seeing a grief counsellor who is skilled to help you move forward better. You will soon be back to your old self. Even the break down of a relationship could greatly benefit from this counselling support. Don't deny yourself what you need. I lost my husband to cancer 8 months ago. I had to watch him die slowly over 3yrs. It is not an easy disease to sit with and watch your loved one suffer and die from this curse of a disease. It will take me a long time to recover from these memories.

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