Extreme heartbreak caused by a torn family.
My girlfriend of 8 months suddenly ended our relationship a couple of months ago. She had been feeling depressed before this due to family situations, but it was all such a shock.
I tried to rescue it, by giving her space and letting her see things from the outside. We then tried to spend a few days together to see if that would make any difference but she said she still felt the same – That when she was with me, she enjoyed herself and felt comfortable, but when she was away she felt she had made the right decision.
A couple of months before this, she had been feeling very down due to her mother’s moods. I’ll call her Kate (to hide her identity) is 25 and still lives with her mum who’s got a lot of issues and who is extremely obsessive. She gives Kate emotional blackmail when she contemplates moving out, and says things like ‘I might kill myself if I’m left alone’. Her mum and Dad have been separated since Kate was 8, but her mum at the time got her to lie in the courts so she would get to live with her.
Kate has also said that her mum has been the main reason for most of her breakups. Her Dad, who lives in abroad is not very supportive to her either, so it’s a horrible situation. I told her that I was there for her on all these issues, but she seemed to shun me away. We got on so so well, and said we were in love with each other. She also met my family and got on with everyone. And to add insult to injury this break up only happened two months after we said we loved each other.
I can’t seem to accept it’s over as we never fell out or had a tense relationship and it seems to be an outside cause. Kate really wanted to remain friends, but I had to tell her I could not as we both want different things. It’s heart breaking not seeing her as we were so close and could say anything to each other. I’m really hoping for her to realise she’s made a mistake.
And yet I know it will be weak if I contact her, and the only way for her to realise is when there’s no contact at all.
Either ways, I’m finding it so so difficult to recover, and am waking up feeling so depressed that I just want to stay in bed. Other times I feel angry and need to burst into tears, feeling like there is nothing worthwhile in my life.
What can I do?