Facebook ruin my marriage

I muster the courage to write what began as any typical morning of the month of October 2012. Woke up did the usual preperation to go to work. Kiss my beautiful wife of 26 years who was always there good or bad. She is a wonderful soul that any person she talks to felt peace from her. We have 4 grown children and still occupy the roof we live in.As work progress I got a text from from my wife hysterically not making sense from her texting. After a few I understood the last one. Our daughter found your laptop open with your facebook page open and unexpliciit message to other woman.my heart literally stop for a while as hopped in my car and head to where she was. I approached the place only to find her surrounded by friends caressing her from all angles. As I approach closer I see her in a stage of what looks like a person that was just told that a family member died. I felt sick to my stomach. What have I done. She approach me yelling, questing why I did what I wrote on facebook. Her words. " why did you do this? I gave you my life. I gave you four wonderful children I cooked clean your clothes. Why? Why?". This was just the beginning of our downhill slide of our beautiful marriage. I left for a few days but she insist I come back. We drank constantly. We fought everyday and our children are impacted by this tragedy..so as s few months passed with constantly pouring my apologies hoping she would a least try forgive me. Another couples months passed as she worked evening shifts. As hours and hours passed after her shift she did not return till early hours of the morning. Asking where she was she told me. My coworkers and I went to the bar. This would continue for at least 3 months during the cold winter nights..I worry for her safety and health. Eventually things began to look brighter after one morning she came home walking drunk. She told me her vehicle was in the ditch and crashed into a brush. She woke with a headache and that really scared her of what had happen that night. After a few days she promised our youngest son she won't drink anymore. I was happy and we ended elimatiing the alcohol for 1 year. We eventually went on trips during the summer months of 2014. There were stages where she collapse to depressing. She constantly text friends but I know in my heart it was male friends she met when she start going out the winter months of November to April of 2013. I tried to ignore the situation cause
I was the cause of her heartache. she did eventually move to her sisters in June. After get together a and a few family trips what assume we're happy occasion on her behalf. We came home on the last trip only to argue about her texting and she went to her sister only to find out the next day she went out with friends and a male friend. As I write this story I'm at home with my kids and she's been out drinking partying and staying with this male friend who is 10 years younger than her. She is 44 and I'm 49. The result of her heartache is I offered these 2 female family members of her cash for favors. Why? Cause I misued facebook to my advantage not thinking about the consequecse of my beautiful family. I love my wife but she said she wants to move on but when's she's intoxicated. And continues to mention she wants what we had once again. I told her over and over again I'm here with open arms. I had quit alcohol for months now but she is still out there weekends. I worry about her a lot and my kids keep telling me to let go and move on but I can't because I care and worry about her welfare and health.

Comments for Facebook ruin my marriage

Click here to add your own comments

Oct 07, 2014
Regarding Facebook ruined my marriage
by: Doreen UK

YES! you made such a big mistake that you are now paying for. I also believe in second chances. But you need to realize that even if you didn't physically mistreat your wife you mistreated her emotionally and this is a hard deep pain to recover from. All you can do is give her time to heal or recover from your major indiscretion and emotional INFIDELITY and see if she will give you a second chance.
You paid a high price to lose a good marriage and family unit.

Oct 07, 2014
Regarding Facebook ruin my marriage
by: Anonymous

I also been through the pain i caused. I didn't leave her and the family. I stuck around paintently waiting for her to give me a 2nd chance. I know most people would say move on with your life. But I believe in 2nd chances. We are a close knit family we always been there for each other. I made a mistake I paid for it. I never mistreated my wife and treated her like a queen. In her mind she always believed I was a perfect husband and will never hurt her. But there's more to this story. It's true facebook didn't ruin my marriage it was the stupidity of a man thinking he can take advantage of a woman who taken care of him throughout the wonderful years they shared together.

Oct 06, 2014
KNow Better
by: Judith in California

Your title should have read I RUINED MY MARRIAGE DO TO LACK OF INTEGRITY AND DISRESPECT FOR MY WIFE " by going on facebook. Facebook can not ruin a relationship. It's the person using it for improper behavior.

Sounds like you have learned a lesson. KNow your wife needs to learn that two wrongs don;t make a right. She needs counseling and you need to show her through your actions you will be there fr her and show her how sorry you are for hurting her by getting her the help she needs.

Oct 06, 2014
Facebook ruin my marriage.
by: Doreen UK

I am not on FACEBOOK but know many people who are. I choose not to open my life and business to the world. I have seen this social media network ruin many lives, but equally bring happiness to many who feel so lonely. This social media network could be a positive power for good to many and a negative power to break up people and marriages. I can't understand how anyone can be so open to many people about their lives. There then comes the dangers of certain types of texting which is a cause of concern and addiction to many lives which is not always a healthy thing to do. I did work in a counselling centre as well as using its services and I was always told that many people who openly share cannot take back their sharing and it can cause them a breakdown and in some cases some have taken their own lives.
I then look at the children that are in the family unit and what they must think of their parents who behave irresponsible. Whilst the children behave well the parents behave badly.
Where are the role models for today's children?
If the children were running around drinking and behaving badly the parents would do something about it to bring them into line. Who is going to parent the parents? Hence we end up with a fractured society and the struggles we see today.
I am glad I put God at the helm of my life and I live my life by strong spiritual values that I interpret into life to make me live right the way God would want me to. I have had my share of problems and tragedies. But I start each day with a clean slate. Wipe off all the mistakes of yesterday and try to live for today and hopefully if I have tomorrow I will do better. WE can all Choose to change and try again and do it right. Perhaps you may get the strength to do this and get your life back into some order. Put in the effort. Use your tragedies to try to do it better today and for the rest of your life. Put your children first. You are their Role model. If children can't trust their parents. What hope do they have? I hope things work out better for you as you put new strategies into your life to make it better.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Relationship.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!