family

by kyle
(illinois)

I am only 18 years old and I've lost too many people to count. My grandfather shot himself when I was 1, my freshman year of high school I lost my uncle dave and my grandma barb. My junior year I lost my other grandpa, and I was very close to all of these people because I never had a very big family. This year my cousin and my uncle jimmy.

I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I'm almost used to hearing about people around me passing. I can't get out of the past. I miss all of these people, I still haven't completely grasped it and it's been years. I miss having a family. It's always the worst around Thanksgiving and Christmas. I don't know what I'm getting out of putting this on here I just had to get some things off my chest I guess.

Comments for family

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May 15, 2011
I understand
by: Jeanne

Kyle,

I understand exactly where you are at. I also experienced multiple losses at a very young age: an aunt, a grandmother, a grandfather, my "other" father, and 7 friends all before I graduated from high school. I even began to feel like their deaths were somehow my fault because it felt like those I loved were dropping all around me.

I wish I could promise you that you won't have to go through this degree of grief again in the future, but I can't. I can tell you that the pain lessens with time if you allow yourself to feel it. Don't try to avoid it; it won't be ignored. I tried and ended up clinically depressed for a long, long time. The grief will ease over time. Be kind to yourself.

Perhaps the hardest part for you will be opening yourself up to love again. Others can fill the "family" places in your heart if you let them, but it is hard to open ourselves up to caring again after experiencing such grief. Missing those family relationships is always going to be with you, but others can provide you with similar, surrogate relationships to fill that need.

I will be praying for you. It is a difficult time you are going through, but it won't be this painful forever. I promise.

Jeanne

Dec 05, 2010
thank you
by: Kyle

thank you for your post

Nov 29, 2010
family
by: jules

That is what this site is all about - get it off your chest - share your feelings - know that people care.

Post again
jules

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