Father-in-law went down at my dad's memorial service

by Patty
(St. Petersburg, Florida)

This is my second post. In my first post I talked about the week of my dad's death, and our relationship in the years leading up to it. This post is about the memorial on.
My dad died on a Sunday, and I flew back to Florida from Germany the next day. My husband and I could only stay for 6 days. During that time, I had to take care of as much as possible...cremation, the house, and his memorial service.
My husband's dad is a CPA. He flew down from Tennessee to support us and help us handle everything financially. My husband has a large, close family. He talks to his parents every day. We both love them very much. His dad has had some health problems over the years, but so far nothing life-threatening. Still, my husband worries so much about something happening to him, and thinks about it now more than ever after my dad's death.
The memorial service was beautiful. The hymns were those I remember singing with my dad at the sunrise services at the beach on Easter. I gave my dad's eulogy...something I didn't know if I could do up until the moment, but I was happy to have done it.
During the last prayer of the service, I hard a strange moan come from a few rows back, and then I saw my husband jump up. My father-in-law had collapsed in the aisle and was unconscious. My aunt, who is a doctor, ordered people to start CPR, and someone went to get an AED. It felt like a dream, like I was hovering above the situation and watching it from the outside. I had just cremated my father...just gave his eulogy. When I got married, I was happy to have gained a second wonderful father figure. Now, it was looking like we could lose him too. People who were not involved started a prayer circle.
After a few chest compressions, he came to. We got him outside, and an ambulance took him and my husband to the hospital. They couldn't find anything wrong. It may be a heart condition.
Perhaps the silver lining in all of this is that we were able to become muh closer. I was able to talk to him about lifestyle changes, and how much we love him....how much I need him now more than ever. My poor husband is traumatized, and then feels guilty being upset about it because he thinks he needs to be strong for me...after all, I lost my dad and he didn't. I want my husband to be able to be a mess emotionally if he feels that way inside; I sure am. We just can't handle another loss right now.

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