February 2, 2005

Today, as a 14 year old girl, I found out that I was the only person in the room when my grandpa died. I was 4 at the time, so I didn't know I guess. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. I can't get over the fact that I really didn't have enough time with him. My grandma told me last year that he used to cry at night because he thought I wouldn't remember him. Only a little bit of that is true. I don't have any memories of things we did together or even what his voice sounds like. I'm even starting to forget what he looked like. But, I do remember that I loved him with all of my heart and still do. It sucks because you just feel like you could've done more and what's worse is finding out that you were the last person to talk to them and didn't say you love them. If I could go back in time and spend more time with him and tell him I love him I would. I have a picture that I drew him 4 years after he died and I sleep with it under my pillow at night. I even keep my baby blanket close by because I know that that's the only thing I have left of him. Never take your loved ones for granted.... RIP Pop! I love you so much!

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