Feel So Lost Without My Mom
(San Jose, CA, USA)
January 26th, 2014 I lost my mom. She was 89yrs old but had been on dialysis for the last 6 or 7 yrs. It’s been 3 wks
already since she’s gone to Heaven but I feel so lost without her.
I was so busy helping my dad being the strong one in the family taking care of the arrangements, taking phone calls, dealing with life insurance, and now that everything has calmed down it’s really starting to hit me and I don’t know how to handle it. My husband is there for me, but he still has his mom and he’s trying to be supportive but he just doesn’t know.
They say you’re supposed to go through an Anger staged, but it seems like I can’t because I thank GOD that I had my mom for 53 yrs of my life and I was there when she passed away. I know I have to rely especially on my Faith because I do believe that will see me through anything, but it’s easier said than done, but I feel like I need to be strong and it’s starting to take its’ toll on me. I just wished that she could have woken up 1 last time so I could tell her that I love her so much.
She left behind a loving husband of 54 yrs, mother of 6, grandmother of 14, great grandmother of 5 & she never thought that she would be a great grandmother & her youngest is 3 ½ months. My mom was a foster parent, always taking care of everyone, especially my dad. She knew how to save money because growing up we always went on vacations.
I know time will ease the pain, but for now it’s just too much for me to handle. Mornings and nighttime’s are hard to handle, but even here at work my emotions just overwhelm me as well when I’m driving home. I just want to hold my mom 1 more time and tell her that I love her and miss her so, so much!