I haven't been here lately but I wanted to write and ask some of you (parents) that have lost children if you are able to connect with your other children since the loss of your child?
I lost my youngest child a little over three years ago (she was 26) and my oldest is now thirty. They were close in their own way but as my mother use to say about my sister and I, they were like daylight and dark. Opposites in many ways but they did spend time together and loved each other. Now, I am finding it harder to be connected to my oldest surviving daughter.
She has never been one to openly share her emotions. After her sister was killed in a car wreck she never really talked about her. She has a child of her own and seemed to avoid discussing her sister much-unless it was a funny memory. My daughter that passed left behind a little girl. She is with her dad and seems to be doing well. I did tell my daughter recently that I feel like she is distancing herself and I miss her. We do visit and talk weekly but it is seldom about our loss. I don't push or discuss my feelings with her normally because I know it makes her feel uncomfortable. Recently she excluded me from something Very special. I told her I was hurt and I had to tell her how I felt because of All the hurt/pain I was carrying was weighing me down and I Needed to be open and honest. She told me that the pain from losing her sister was almost more than she could bare during the holiday's. I told her I was here if she ever wants or needs to talk.
I'm not worried about her harming herself and she has a full life with friends and recently engaged. I would just like to know if Any of you have found yourself feeling disconnected emotionally from any of your surviving children? We were close in our own way before we lost my daughter.
Thank you and God Bless You.