FEELING LOST STILL

by silver laduke
(alabama)



It's been 2 yrs on May 29th since the love of my life went home to GOD.I miss him so much.Most of my support group is gone:my baby sister died Nov 1 2001 @44 yrs old,my dad died Dec.9 2009,my best friend of 28yrs died May 29,2010,my mom June 30,2010 and my husband of 33 yrs died May 29,2011.I have buried 2 grandchildren.My younger brother and 2 sisters live in Texas--I live in Alabama.They don't call me very often. One sister will text me on holidays but it has been at least 3 months since I have talked to them.The only way I get to talk to them is if they aren't at work and answer the phone.My oldest son is moving to Florida,my 2nd son lives in Maryland,my 3rd son is gone on his job except for a few days each month.So around me I have my youngest son,3 grown grandchildren and a dau-in-law.I am feeling so lonely. I still feel as if I have lost all my support system even though I know it's not true.I have no strong friendships though some people at church are casual friends to me.The restaurant that was favorite to my husband and I has a couple of people who are friends when I go there,but no one calls me or suggests we go out or anything like that.I am,FINALLY,getting to the acceptance point of my grief but it doesn't change the fact of the feeling of being so alone.I have found you can be in a crowd and still feel lonely.I posted another poem called ARE YOU LISTENING?.I ask GOD if he is listening when I cry out to HIM.Of course I know HE is but sometimes I wish I knew what HE has in store for me.I don't blame GOD for my family leaving because I see the good reasons for why they left,(my dad was losing a battle to cancer,my mom's alzheimers was getting worse,my friends heart was giving out,and my husband couldn't breathe very well and probably had cancer of the lung)but it still hurts so much.I still have to make myself get up and get moving each day.I still make myself do at least 2 things each day.Some days I still want to stay in bed and go back to sleep but I am getting to the point that I know I need to get up and get on with life.I still don't want to but I am going to,somehow.I feel for all of us who have sent family on ahead.The pain is not only emotional but physical.The weather is warm but I stay cold.I have aches and pains all over but it's probably because I don't move around as much as I should.Please take care of yourselves.GOD give you peace and strength to keep going.I send prayers of love and support.To all who write on this site:Thanks for all your support.This site has helped me so much.I know I can go here and know i'm not alone.That is one of the most important helps I have.GOD bless you all.

Comments for FEELING LOST STILL

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Aug 01, 2013
We support each other
by: Christine

As I write this, my brother-in-law is dying of a brain bleed, and my family and I are gathered around him. My husband passed just one month ago, and I am still grieving him. Now I have to be strong for my sister. I have a wonderful family, but eventually we will have to move forward, each alone. I don't have any easy answers except to say that love lives on. The most important comfort to anyone grieving is others who truly care. If you are reading this and you can comfort another person, please do it. Just listen to the grieving person. Just be present. When we grieve, we need our loved ones close to us. Please do not abandon those close to you who grieve. Love is an action word, not just an emotion. I pray for all of my fellow human beings --that we will comfort one another. God created us to love Him and one another.

May 28, 2013
FEELING LOST STILL
by: Doreen U.K.

Silver Thank You for your beautiful Poem ARE YOU LISTENING. I have attempted a reply in the form of a LETTER FROM GOD TO YOU. I think you need this at a time which is so very hard when you have lost so many people from your life. As you say. So many losses you feel as if you have lost your support structure. This is how I feel also. I am fortunate to have the God Channel so I get to be comforted when no one is around. Even if we have a good relationship with God we still need People in our life. We were never meant to live in isolation. God knew this when he created us. God gave Woman to man for companionship. When we lose our companion we do feel so ALONE and LOST. It is normal to have days when we do wonder if God cares and it is not wrong to feel this way. This is why we need each other. To encourage and support each other in much the same way as ONE HAND WASHES ANOTHER. I feel your lonliness and I hear what you say.
Ask God to put people in your life to walk with you through this path of Lonliness. WE can have casual acquaintances at church and a busy family and feel as if we have been forgotten You are not alone here as I feel the same way and I am sure there are many people out there who can say THIS IS HOW I FEEL ALSO.
I have so much pain in my body I am housebound at the moment despite making myself move. But I also feel a lot of this pain comes from grief. If you know of Joel Osteen he has written so many books on ENCOURAGEMENT. He is a brilliant speaker and his main focus is on building people up. He does it well. If you are able to get a book or two of his this will comfort and strengthen you on those down days when we all need a friend and JOEL OSTEEN turns up just in time to be that friend when no one is around. I wish you have better days ahead and that God will wrap his loving arms around you especially on 29th May. The anniversary of your loss. May you be Blessed in life as the Blessing you are. God go with You today and Always.

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