Right now, in this moment, as we watch my mother-in-law painfully surrender to pancreatic cancer, my story is too sad to get into. So I will just say this; death and I have had an ongoing relationship since I was a little girl. My dad died a month after I turned ten. It was life-changing and very traumatic.
1967 - My DAD died at age 42.
1968 - My 20 year old cousin (and next door neighbor) died in a car crash.
1969 - My Godfather died at 44
1970's Various aunts and uncles
1991 - My 38 year old BROTHER died
1996 - My 42 year old BROTHER died
2006 - My FRIEND and mentor
2009 - My MOM
2011 - My Godmother
Four grandparents are gone
Twelve aunts and/or uncles
And now my cousins are dying. I have recently lost 3.
My father-in-law is gone and my mother-in-law is in the dying stages.
I am 54 years old and feel lost.
If you read this far, thanks for allowing me to "say" this without feeling like I'm whining and should just get over it.