Feeling lost...

by Danielle

My dad passed away on February 13/2014 after a long battle with COPD. The first time he was admitted to the hospital and truly diagnosed with this disease was 5 years ago on my wedding day. I woke up to a phone call from my husband to be telling me that my father was rushed by ambulance to the hospital. So of course I rushed over where they proceeded to tell me that he had pneumonia and would be placed in a coma. So that was both the worse and best day of my life. Before they put him in a coma he made me promise I would go through with our wedding, so I did. Now fast tracking 5 years later, at beginning of January he went for one of his many procedures, but this time he never came home. He was rushed to the icu and placed on life support and was basically a vegetable. His lungs and body had finally have up. So my mother and i had to make the unimaginable decision to remove life support after 4 weeks in the icu. This was the worse day of my life.. Their was nothing I could've done to prepare myself for the physical and emotional pain I would feel. Suddenly the fact that my father wasn't present on my wedding day came back to me and I was overwhelmed with so much grief. I am having a very difficult time with his passing and I almost feel as though I'm putting on an act in front of my family, when in reality I'm in so much pain..

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May 21, 2014
Feeling lost.....
by: Doreen UK

Danielle You will feel lost for some time. It has only been 13 weeks since you lost your father and much too soon to expect to be moving forward. Grief delay affects many of us. I thought I was grieving and moving forward, only to now feel worse 2yrs on. If you find yourself struggling with grief and don't want to discuss this with your family, the best way forward is to see a grief counsellor for a few sessions. You will get the best professional support in case you are stuck in grief. It can be so overwhelming. Memories return in stages. Grief assaults us physically, and emotionally. It is not easy losing a father from your life. He was such a stable and important part of your life. My 3 children lost their father 2yrs. ago. They are moving forward, but then I can never tell what they are thinking and feeling unless they share this. They may be feeling just like you, not wanting to share their private thoughts and feelings. This is understandable. This is an UNBEARABLE GRIEF. I am sorry for your loss of your father.

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